Gene Chizik Should Sit the Next Couple of Plays Out

Last week, if you were paying attention, and with Women's World Cup fever sweeping the country, or about two to three percent of the population (and let's call it like it happened, they CHOKED HORRIBLY), it may have been difficult to do so, the New York Times published an article that detailed an exchange between the NCAA's vice president for enforcement and Gene Chizik at the SEC's spring meetings in Destin.  Amazingly, this incident stayed out of public light for almost two months, which seems impossible given the words used and the number of people who witnessed it (as well as coaches' natural inclination to run their mouths when they can go off the record).

To help those of you who have fallen behind catch up to this week, I submit this child-like recap of what went down.


Julie Roe Lach: "Buzzword buzzword buzzword, next slide, buzzword buzzword, SUCH NEAT FEATURES ON POWERPOINT, buzzword buzzword buzzword, Ohio State, buzzword buzzword, North Carolina, buzzword buzzword, USC, buzzword buzzword buzzword, monitor your program carefully. Any questions?"


Gene Chizik: "Yes, I've got one."


Lach: "Yes, the gentlemen from Auburn with the sharpened chin."


Chizik: "I'm tired of you investigating my program.  When will this end?  We've done nothing wrong."


Lach: "Well, Coach, as we've informed you, and you should know from all of our investigations ever, these things take time, often years. We will-"


Chizik: "I'm tired of it and don't like.  Not one bit.  I want it to stop."

/stomps foot
/extends chin


Lach: "Coach, I'm not going to get into specifics, but, as I said, we are very thorough, which takes time. You'll-"


Chizik: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!  LALALALALALALA!  I WANT TO KNOW WHEN THIS IS GOING TO BE OVER."


Lach: "You’ll know when we’re finished. And we’re not finished.”