A perfect week five and the first time I’ve managed to pull off the perfect week this season. It’s a trend that I can assure you won’t keep going. So before I screw it up, let’s move on to what happened over the weekend.
GAME RECAPS
Alabama 38, Kentucky 20
Alabama certainly showed they could run the ball, pounding Kentucky into dust to the tune of 204 yards. From what I saw, the Tide came out with a strategy to destroy Kentucky on the ground and wait for the Wildcats to turn the ball over, which they did four times. Mike Hartline, who has thrown his name into the running for SEC interceptions leader with six on the year (his competitors include: Joe Cox-6, Jevan Snead-5 and Jonathan Crompton-8), was about as awful as you could imagine a below average quarterback playing against a good defense to be. I was only able to see the first half and the best description I could come up with for Hartline was that his performance made JaMarcus Russell look sharp.
With the way Kentucky and Vanderbilt are playing, would everyone be okay with just going ahead and canceling that game? No one deserves to be subjected to that hell, even the fans of both schools. Yes, I know that game is over a month away, but what else I am supposed to say about Kentucky? There’s only so many ways you can say someone stinks.
LSU 20, Georgia 13
Has the paint finished drying yet? Or has the grass reached three inches yet? If not for the final minutes, this would be in the running for the worst game I’ve ever watched. Both offenses were horrible, which is made worse since both defenses have not played very well this season, both quarterbacks lived up to their average-to-below-average status and incompetence reigned throughout the game. I mentioned last week that these teams were almost identical statistically and that’s exactly what we got, two teams that were very good at playing bad and boring football.
A week after Anthony Dixon ran through LSU’s defense, Georgia followed up with an outstanding 45 yards on the ground. That’s just 12 yards more than Charles Scott’s 33-yard touchdown run that won the game. And Joe Cox spent the better part of his afternoon throwing incompletions. If not for A.J. Green, how bad would Cox be? A short, average-arm quarterback without a receiver that’s almost undefendable. Now, I say this knowing nothing about Georgia’s depth at quarterback, and I find it’s always more fun to make ridiculous claims without knowing anything about a situation, but I think we’re getting close to the time they need to take a look at someone else. In the next two weeks, they play Tennessee and Vanderbilt, which would be a perfect time to give some playing time to QB number two, especially Vandy. If not then, perhaps after Florida blows them apart at the end of October.
Ole Miss 23, Vanderbilt 7
I know Vanderbilt stinks, but Ole Miss did what allegedly good teams do to bad teams, they dominate them. Even though Vandy had a few moments of feistiness, especially after a Snead interception that led to a touchdown, I never once thought they had a chance to even get back in the game, much less win it. I was looking for dominant offensive line play, which we got (and a kudos to Bradley Sowell for gaining a fraction of a percent of redemption), I wanted another outstanding defensive performance, got that too, and I wanted Jevan Snead to not play like an idiot, and we got a half check mark there.
In the first half, Snead played like November 2008 through January 2009 Jevan Snead. He carved up Vandy’s pass defense, which was second in the conference coming into this game. Then the second half started. Passes started being thrown to no one in particular, except Vandy defenders, and the offense started to grind to a halt. Had we not been able to run the ball, things might have been a little dicier in the second half. But a win is a win, and that it didn’t come in excruciating fashion is good enough for me in this annual battle of mediocrity.
South Carolina 38, South Carolina State 14
A moral victory for the MEAC as SC State was only down 10-7 at half.
Georgia Tech 42, Mississippi State 31
A game pregnant with Mississippi State turnovers and Georgia Tech passing yards, which I’m sure no one expected. For the second straight year, Mississippi State was able to rack up some offensive yards (and this year they even scored), but turnovers killed them again. State is now -6 in the turnover margin department, ranking only ahead of Georgia in the SEC. And the interesting thing about all their turnovers is that only six of them have come as a result of the magical arms of Tyson Lee and Chris Relf, which I find unbelievable. I had that duo penciled in for at least 10 by this point in the season. The Bulldogs have now lost eight fumbled on the year and have a stellar nine turnovers in the last two games.
If you’re wondering why I’m rambling on about all these turnovers, it’s because they have kept State from a potential 4-1 start and I didn’t see any of this game at all so I have nothing to really discuss. I can tell you that Georgia Tech quarterback Josh Nesbitt had thrown for just 446 yards coming into this game, and during this game he threw for 266, which is about 60% of his previous total. I’m no mathematician, but I can tell you State’s pass defense stinks.
Arkansas 47, Texas A&M 19
Coach Sherman,
If you could go ahead and clean up your office for Coach Tuberville’s arrival in December, that would be great. Thanks a bunch.
Sincerely,
Everyone at Texas A&M
Auburn 26, Tennessee 22
A few things we learned from this game:
1. Auburn’s defense still stinks. 400 yards to Tennessee? That’s Jonathan Crompton throwing the ball around, not Rick Clausen. Wait, I mean Casey Clausen. No, that’s still not right. Tee Martin? No, someone else. Who was the guy who won a lot of games, but never could beat Florida? Ah, yes. Peyton Manning is the guy I wanted to name.
2. This was Crompton’s first game of the year NOT to throw an interception. It only took five weeks, but we made it. And what’s more impressive is that he threw 43 times.
3. Defenses are usually better when they aren’t missing five starters, like Tennessee’s. Auburn has far exceeded any expectations I had for them, but I’m not ready to buy into this team yet. Wake me up when they play a team with a legitimate (or uninjured) defense and a competent offense.
4. Gene Chizik has now doubled his career win total. He began the season at five and is all the way up to ten. Never in a million years would I have believed that.
5. The Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron experience has been a little disappointing in terms of buffoonery and general coaching stupidity. However, with the recent dismissal of wide receiver Brandon Warren (who got in a shouting match with an assistant) and the losses that will start mounting, I expect things to really take off in the next few weeks.
GAME I DIDN’T PICK BUT DESERVES MENTION HERE
UTEP 58, Houston 41
I love watching Houston’s offense. It’s sort of a take-off on Mike Leach’s offense at Texas Tech (I can’t remember the assistants connection between the teams, but it’s there. Trust me.) with a little more running back involvement (passes out of the backfield and such). Saturday night the Cougars put up 664 yards of offense and let their quarterback throw the ball 76 times. Most teams don’t even run 76 plays in the course of a game (Houston ran 103 in this game). Unfortunately for Houston, their defense, particularly their run defense, is non-existent. UTEP was able to grind out 305 yards on the ground at a staggering 7.4 yards per carry. Perhaps “grind out” is selling their effort short. How about run freely until they reached the endzone multiple times?
Houston’s dreams of making a run at a BCS game have come to an end, but they should take solace in the fact that they’d be tied for first if they played in the Big 12 South.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches.)
Shay Hodge, WR, Ole Miss
Hodge came out of the witness protection program and dominated the Vanderbilt pass defense for eight catches for 122 yards and two touchdowns. Outside of A.J. Green, I don’t think there’s another receiver in the SEC I’d like to have at this point. Hodge runs great routes, catches anything thrown to him and is extremely strong in going for the ball. If only his quarterback could put a complete game together, Hodge could have a game where he makes a run at 200 yards.
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play.)
Mike Hartline, QB, Kentucky
17 of 31 for 168 yards, 1 TD and 3 INTs. Ugh. Hartline is consistently producing games which seem to give every reason in the world he should not be playing quarterback. Apparently, Kentucky has no desire to give Randall Cobb another shot at quarterback so it’s Mike Hartline or bust. I look forward to seeing his work down the stretch.
JOHN VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
(Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him.)
Bobby Petrino, Arkansas
After seeing his team get thumped at Alabama, Petrino rallied the troops and obliterated a Mike Sherman-coached team, which is both easier said and done.
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
Alabama at Ole Miss
The first real test for the Alabama offense (no, not Virginia Tech, they stink) and the best defense Ole Miss will see all year.
Florida at LSU
Get ready for Tebow watch all week. Will he or won’t he. Even without him I think Florida still has to feel pretty good going into this one.
Auburn at Arkansas
Upset alert. If Arkansas fans can stop clapping for Gus Malzahn’s success as Auburn’s offensive coordinator since in some messed up way his success helps further stoke the fire that Houston Nutt really was evil, they might see their team put the first loss on Auburn.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
SEC Picks of Week 5
Made while realizing the NHL season and the NHL itself were not cancelled this year. Must have been a nasty rumor. I’d like to watch, but I only get 225 channels and the Versus Outdoor Life Northeast Living Network isn’t one of them.
Last week: 7-1
Season: 31-4 (.886)
Alabama at Kentucky
In this space, I have expressed my respect and admiration for the job Rich Brooks has done at Kentucky. And of course, last week he repaid my touting of his abilities by dropping an epic stinkbomb in the first quarter against Florida. So earlier this week, I wrote that I took back all those nice things I said about him. Well, I’m back on the Rich Brooks bandwagon. Take a look at this Twitter post from yesterday:
Now that is one tough old man. And I’m quite certain he swore repeatedly at all the doctors. Anyway, glad he’s apparently okay because the only reason I even watch parts of Kentucky games is to see if I can catch Brooks unleashing a cluster bomb-like barrage of profanity on a player who’s just done something incredibly stupid. If I didn’t have that, I might never see Kentucky play.
As for this game, I fully expect Brooks’ saltiness to flex its muscle. Kentucky’s offense, in short, stinks. And their defense isn’t much better. Actually, I’m not even sure it is better. Watching Florida’s offense roll through their alleged defense and seeing their offense bumble around like an aluminum can-seeking hobo, I’m a little worried about my lofty prediction that had them fifth in the SEC East. They’re in serious need of getting their asses into first gear.
Unfortunately, that’s going to be hard to do with Alabama coming into Lexington. Improving your offense usually works when you’re playing teams like Miami (OH) or Arkansas, not Alabama. As Alabama proved last weekend, they make offenses much worse. And after shutting down Ryan Mallett, do you think Nick Saban is sweating Mike Hartline (whoever that is)?
Offensively, I’ll be looking to see if Alabama can get some sort of consistent ground game going. Outside of Trent Richardson’s 52-yard touchdown run last week, they piled up just 82 yards on 40 carries, which, if you do the math, is not good, especially against Arkansas’ defense. If they struggle running against Kentucky (the worst statistical run defense in the SEC), I’d be a little concerned if I cared about Alabama. Not for this game, but in future games against more talented teams. They’ve got plenty on offense to get by Kentucky and will do so with ease, but I wouldn’t feel great if it were up to Greg McElroy to win a game for me.
LSU at Georgia
This was the game I kept pointing to as when we would really find out more about LSU. But thanks to Mississippi State, I think we found out what this LSU team is: a very average team. They’re very erratic on offense, with a poor ability to run the ball, and defensively soft against the run and offense in general. They’re also the number four-ranked team in the country, which is hard to believe given their offensive struggles and their inability to shut down an offense led by an extra from Smurfs on Ice (granted, he would be the toughest Smurf given some of the hits he took, but still a Smurf). But I suppose other teams displaying their mediocrity (ahem, Ole Miss), LSU deserves to move up due to a process of elimination. Hell, if Virginia Tech and Ohio State are back in the top ten, then there’s no reason LSU shouldn’t be.
Looking at these two teams, it’s almost as if they’re identical. Both have offenses that rank in the bottom third of the SEC (Georgia’s is only better thanks to Arkansas’ defense), quarterbacks who have struggled mightily at times (although Jefferson is more talented), terrible running games (LSU is 10th and Georgia is 11th) and defenses that rank 9th (LSU) and 11th (Georgia) in the league in total defense. Statistically, it makes no sense that these teams even have winning records. And more amazingly for Georgia is that they’re -9 in turnover ratio (worst in the conference). LSU is +7, which is best and explains some of their good fortune.
So what happens when two below average to average teams play one another? I have no idea. Nothing would surprise me in this game. LSU by 30? I can see it. Georgia turns it over seven times and still wins? No big deal. The sky is the limit with this game. Hopefully, this collision of mediocrity won’t produce an Auburn/Tennessee game from last year when neither team could do anything remotely competent on offense. If two teams like this are going to play, at least give the rest of us some offensive excitement. Something like 38-34 would be just right.
I went back and forth on this one, but in the end settled on LSU. I think Georgia is just too sloppy (turnovers and penalties, which they are 11th and 12th, respectively) and in an even game, I’ll take the more disciplined team (hard to believe that would be a Les Miles team) and the quarterback with the most ability. As risky as it is to take Jordan Jefferson on the road, I still say Joe Cox airing it out 30 times or more is more dangerous.
Ole Miss at Vanderbilt
Saturday we find out if Ole Miss’ problems on the offensive line and at quarterback are correctable problems or are season-killing ones that can’t be fixed. So it’s sort of a big day. If a Vanderbilt defensive lineman, who, as of right now I don’t even know exists, plays to the level where his name is burned in my brain forever, then this Ole Miss team may not find its way to six or seven wins. However, if the three man rush jailbreaks are kept to a minimum and Jevan Snead shakes off his Romaro Miller-itis, then there’s still hope for a shot at Atlanta.
I’m not looking for a massive blowout (mainly because I know it can’t happen), but I want to see a superior team with superior talent dominate an inferior team (for those confused as to which is which, Ole Miss is allegedly the superior team). The Ole Miss team will have had eight days to shake off the crash back to reality and get ready to make a statement that they aren’t done. This is a game that they should control from start to finish. Vanderbilt will offer a competitive defense (but nothing like South Carolina), a road environment that could be described as neutral and absolutely nothing on offense. There’s no excuse not to be in total control throughout. And that should be the message to this team. Dominate. Prove to yourself and everyone else that there’s not a giant fork sticking out of the team’s collective back.
Ole Miss should win, but I get the feeling it will be yet another excruciatingly painful Ole Miss/Vandy game in which it takes the better part of three and a half quarters to finally put the game on ice, a feat which Ole Miss hasn’t done against Vandy the last two years.
South Carolina State at South Carolina
Baring a disaster, South Carolina should be 5-1 going into Alabama in three weeks, which is suddenly an intriguing game. Spurrier matching wits with Saban. Saban already destroyed one offensive guru in Bobby Petrino, and although Spurrier may no longer have that title, he still has to be considered somewhat dangerous.
Georgia Tech at Mississippi State
Last year, Mississippi State put up 400 yards of offense and matched Georgia Tech in time of possession. Unfortunately for the Bulldogs, they also turned the ball over four times, gave up 500 yards on defense (438 on the ground) and scored only 7 points. So one would think there’s not a tremendous advantage for Georgia Tech, especially with the game being in Starkville. However, remember when State met Auburn’s run-option oriented attack? 390 yards on the ground at a staggering 6.6 yards per carry.
Now, that Auburn team is a little more balanced than this Georgia Tech team, but it’s still a team that comes in with an offense that leans heavily on the run and is option-based. I don’t like State’s chances defending an option team (and one that gashed them last year). But I suppose if they wanted a great lesson in shutting down the option, they could watch LSU’s defense on the fourth and goal play from last Saturday (too soon?). That’s how you defend the option.
I think this game will be closer than last year, but given State’s recent struggles against good running teams, the brutal emotional loss last week and that Tyson Lee is still playing quarterback, Georgia Tech should win.
Texas A&M vs. Arkansas
In a game played at the new Cowboys’ stadium (wait, the Cowboys have a new stadium? I must have missed out on this.), two old Southwest Conference rivals collide blah blah blah blah blah. We get it. The old days of cheating, hatred and Texas are momentarily revisited. Both groups of fans will marvel at all the lights and electricity running those lights inside the stadium. Both will recall the good old days of the SWC. And both will long for those days to come back, not realizing that their current conferences make them millions upon millions of dollars.
Once the game starts, I’m not sure what to expect. Texas A&M has thrashed the likes of New Mexico, Utah State (only by 8) and UAB so who knows what they actually bring to the table. Oh, and they’re coached by Mike Sherman, who, by all accounts, stinks. But allegedly A&M has installed a new, fast-paced offense, which, when played against better competition, should get them into punting situations faster. I’m taking Arkansas here because they’ve played a pair of real games and I can’t ever cast my lot with Mike Sherman.
Auburn at Tennessee
Last year, Auburn played a huge role in two of the most boring football games of the 21st century. The epic 3-2 win over Mississippi State and the burn-out-your-retinas game against Tennessee, which they won 14-12. Perhaps this year these crimes against humanity can be avoided. Auburn appears to have found an offense that works and even though it is tearing up lesser competition, it’s still tearing them apart as it should. That would lead you to believe we won’t witness another bloodbath of offensive inefficiency, but as I just mentioned, Auburn hasn’t played a good defensive team.
Lots of people, including myself, expected Florida to score at least 250 points against Tennessee earlier this year. Instead, the crafty, defensive veteran coach Monte Kiffin came up with a defensive plan that not only slowed Florida down, but actually gave Tennessee a chance to win (if they had a competent quarterback). I expect him to do the same again this week. Kiffin knows that despite Auburn quarterback Chris Todd’s good early season numbers, he still stinks. Look for him to load up against the run and play a lot of zero coverage or cover 1, daring Auburn to throw the ball.
Now, as genius of a plan that Kiffin might create, he still has no control over the offensive side of the ball. That falls under his son’s responsibility and, as much as I enjoy making fun of his son, he’s limited in what he can do on offense because of his quarterback. The good news for Tennessee is that Auburn’s defense isn’t very good. Ball State put 30 up on them, and West Virginia, despite six turnovers, ran up 30 points and 500 yards of offense. If they had limited themselves to maybe two turnovers, we might have seen 50 points and 700 yards of offense.
But do you see what’s going on here? These assholes are setting us up for another offensive travesty. An overrated offense going against a good defense that’s well coached. An absolutely horrible offense facing a defense that isn’t very good, but with enough good athletes to hold the bad offense in the same place. Damn these teams to hell. They’re going to do it again. I hate both of them. I’ll take Auburn on account that Jonathan Crompton still plays quarterback at Tennessee.
A Simpsons’ moment best describes what it will be like to watch this game:
Last week: 7-1
Season: 31-4 (.886)
Alabama at Kentucky
In this space, I have expressed my respect and admiration for the job Rich Brooks has done at Kentucky. And of course, last week he repaid my touting of his abilities by dropping an epic stinkbomb in the first quarter against Florida. So earlier this week, I wrote that I took back all those nice things I said about him. Well, I’m back on the Rich Brooks bandwagon. Take a look at this Twitter post from yesterday:
Now that is one tough old man. And I’m quite certain he swore repeatedly at all the doctors. Anyway, glad he’s apparently okay because the only reason I even watch parts of Kentucky games is to see if I can catch Brooks unleashing a cluster bomb-like barrage of profanity on a player who’s just done something incredibly stupid. If I didn’t have that, I might never see Kentucky play.
As for this game, I fully expect Brooks’ saltiness to flex its muscle. Kentucky’s offense, in short, stinks. And their defense isn’t much better. Actually, I’m not even sure it is better. Watching Florida’s offense roll through their alleged defense and seeing their offense bumble around like an aluminum can-seeking hobo, I’m a little worried about my lofty prediction that had them fifth in the SEC East. They’re in serious need of getting their asses into first gear.
Unfortunately, that’s going to be hard to do with Alabama coming into Lexington. Improving your offense usually works when you’re playing teams like Miami (OH) or Arkansas, not Alabama. As Alabama proved last weekend, they make offenses much worse. And after shutting down Ryan Mallett, do you think Nick Saban is sweating Mike Hartline (whoever that is)?
Offensively, I’ll be looking to see if Alabama can get some sort of consistent ground game going. Outside of Trent Richardson’s 52-yard touchdown run last week, they piled up just 82 yards on 40 carries, which, if you do the math, is not good, especially against Arkansas’ defense. If they struggle running against Kentucky (the worst statistical run defense in the SEC), I’d be a little concerned if I cared about Alabama. Not for this game, but in future games against more talented teams. They’ve got plenty on offense to get by Kentucky and will do so with ease, but I wouldn’t feel great if it were up to Greg McElroy to win a game for me.
LSU at Georgia
This was the game I kept pointing to as when we would really find out more about LSU. But thanks to Mississippi State, I think we found out what this LSU team is: a very average team. They’re very erratic on offense, with a poor ability to run the ball, and defensively soft against the run and offense in general. They’re also the number four-ranked team in the country, which is hard to believe given their offensive struggles and their inability to shut down an offense led by an extra from Smurfs on Ice (granted, he would be the toughest Smurf given some of the hits he took, but still a Smurf). But I suppose other teams displaying their mediocrity (ahem, Ole Miss), LSU deserves to move up due to a process of elimination. Hell, if Virginia Tech and Ohio State are back in the top ten, then there’s no reason LSU shouldn’t be.
Looking at these two teams, it’s almost as if they’re identical. Both have offenses that rank in the bottom third of the SEC (Georgia’s is only better thanks to Arkansas’ defense), quarterbacks who have struggled mightily at times (although Jefferson is more talented), terrible running games (LSU is 10th and Georgia is 11th) and defenses that rank 9th (LSU) and 11th (Georgia) in the league in total defense. Statistically, it makes no sense that these teams even have winning records. And more amazingly for Georgia is that they’re -9 in turnover ratio (worst in the conference). LSU is +7, which is best and explains some of their good fortune.
So what happens when two below average to average teams play one another? I have no idea. Nothing would surprise me in this game. LSU by 30? I can see it. Georgia turns it over seven times and still wins? No big deal. The sky is the limit with this game. Hopefully, this collision of mediocrity won’t produce an Auburn/Tennessee game from last year when neither team could do anything remotely competent on offense. If two teams like this are going to play, at least give the rest of us some offensive excitement. Something like 38-34 would be just right.
I went back and forth on this one, but in the end settled on LSU. I think Georgia is just too sloppy (turnovers and penalties, which they are 11th and 12th, respectively) and in an even game, I’ll take the more disciplined team (hard to believe that would be a Les Miles team) and the quarterback with the most ability. As risky as it is to take Jordan Jefferson on the road, I still say Joe Cox airing it out 30 times or more is more dangerous.
Ole Miss at Vanderbilt
Saturday we find out if Ole Miss’ problems on the offensive line and at quarterback are correctable problems or are season-killing ones that can’t be fixed. So it’s sort of a big day. If a Vanderbilt defensive lineman, who, as of right now I don’t even know exists, plays to the level where his name is burned in my brain forever, then this Ole Miss team may not find its way to six or seven wins. However, if the three man rush jailbreaks are kept to a minimum and Jevan Snead shakes off his Romaro Miller-itis, then there’s still hope for a shot at Atlanta.
I’m not looking for a massive blowout (mainly because I know it can’t happen), but I want to see a superior team with superior talent dominate an inferior team (for those confused as to which is which, Ole Miss is allegedly the superior team). The Ole Miss team will have had eight days to shake off the crash back to reality and get ready to make a statement that they aren’t done. This is a game that they should control from start to finish. Vanderbilt will offer a competitive defense (but nothing like South Carolina), a road environment that could be described as neutral and absolutely nothing on offense. There’s no excuse not to be in total control throughout. And that should be the message to this team. Dominate. Prove to yourself and everyone else that there’s not a giant fork sticking out of the team’s collective back.
Ole Miss should win, but I get the feeling it will be yet another excruciatingly painful Ole Miss/Vandy game in which it takes the better part of three and a half quarters to finally put the game on ice, a feat which Ole Miss hasn’t done against Vandy the last two years.
South Carolina State at South Carolina
Baring a disaster, South Carolina should be 5-1 going into Alabama in three weeks, which is suddenly an intriguing game. Spurrier matching wits with Saban. Saban already destroyed one offensive guru in Bobby Petrino, and although Spurrier may no longer have that title, he still has to be considered somewhat dangerous.
Georgia Tech at Mississippi State
Last year, Mississippi State put up 400 yards of offense and matched Georgia Tech in time of possession. Unfortunately for the Bulldogs, they also turned the ball over four times, gave up 500 yards on defense (438 on the ground) and scored only 7 points. So one would think there’s not a tremendous advantage for Georgia Tech, especially with the game being in Starkville. However, remember when State met Auburn’s run-option oriented attack? 390 yards on the ground at a staggering 6.6 yards per carry.
Now, that Auburn team is a little more balanced than this Georgia Tech team, but it’s still a team that comes in with an offense that leans heavily on the run and is option-based. I don’t like State’s chances defending an option team (and one that gashed them last year). But I suppose if they wanted a great lesson in shutting down the option, they could watch LSU’s defense on the fourth and goal play from last Saturday (too soon?). That’s how you defend the option.
I think this game will be closer than last year, but given State’s recent struggles against good running teams, the brutal emotional loss last week and that Tyson Lee is still playing quarterback, Georgia Tech should win.
Texas A&M vs. Arkansas
In a game played at the new Cowboys’ stadium (wait, the Cowboys have a new stadium? I must have missed out on this.), two old Southwest Conference rivals collide blah blah blah blah blah. We get it. The old days of cheating, hatred and Texas are momentarily revisited. Both groups of fans will marvel at all the lights and electricity running those lights inside the stadium. Both will recall the good old days of the SWC. And both will long for those days to come back, not realizing that their current conferences make them millions upon millions of dollars.
Once the game starts, I’m not sure what to expect. Texas A&M has thrashed the likes of New Mexico, Utah State (only by 8) and UAB so who knows what they actually bring to the table. Oh, and they’re coached by Mike Sherman, who, by all accounts, stinks. But allegedly A&M has installed a new, fast-paced offense, which, when played against better competition, should get them into punting situations faster. I’m taking Arkansas here because they’ve played a pair of real games and I can’t ever cast my lot with Mike Sherman.
Auburn at Tennessee
Last year, Auburn played a huge role in two of the most boring football games of the 21st century. The epic 3-2 win over Mississippi State and the burn-out-your-retinas game against Tennessee, which they won 14-12. Perhaps this year these crimes against humanity can be avoided. Auburn appears to have found an offense that works and even though it is tearing up lesser competition, it’s still tearing them apart as it should. That would lead you to believe we won’t witness another bloodbath of offensive inefficiency, but as I just mentioned, Auburn hasn’t played a good defensive team.
Lots of people, including myself, expected Florida to score at least 250 points against Tennessee earlier this year. Instead, the crafty, defensive veteran coach Monte Kiffin came up with a defensive plan that not only slowed Florida down, but actually gave Tennessee a chance to win (if they had a competent quarterback). I expect him to do the same again this week. Kiffin knows that despite Auburn quarterback Chris Todd’s good early season numbers, he still stinks. Look for him to load up against the run and play a lot of zero coverage or cover 1, daring Auburn to throw the ball.
Now, as genius of a plan that Kiffin might create, he still has no control over the offensive side of the ball. That falls under his son’s responsibility and, as much as I enjoy making fun of his son, he’s limited in what he can do on offense because of his quarterback. The good news for Tennessee is that Auburn’s defense isn’t very good. Ball State put 30 up on them, and West Virginia, despite six turnovers, ran up 30 points and 500 yards of offense. If they had limited themselves to maybe two turnovers, we might have seen 50 points and 700 yards of offense.
But do you see what’s going on here? These assholes are setting us up for another offensive travesty. An overrated offense going against a good defense that’s well coached. An absolutely horrible offense facing a defense that isn’t very good, but with enough good athletes to hold the bad offense in the same place. Damn these teams to hell. They’re going to do it again. I hate both of them. I’ll take Auburn on account that Jonathan Crompton still plays quarterback at Tennessee.
A Simpsons’ moment best describes what it will be like to watch this game:
Monday, September 28, 2009
From the Weekend That Was
While watching SportsCenter Saturday night, I heard Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit say something that was actually useful as they recapped the day in college football. Musburger pointed out that it appears the top three teams in college football, Florida, Texas and Alabama, appear to be legitimate teams, while everyone else is sort of up in the air. Herbstreit went on to mention that now that these September games are over, we know the flaws of everyone after the top three (the top three teams have some perceived flaws, but they haven’t been exposed as such). And now that we know these flaws, we won’t be so surprised when, say another SEC team’s right defensive end records five sacks against Ole Miss.
GAME RECAPS
South Carolina 16, Ole Miss 10
Given that the Rebels had a matador playing left tackle, a quarterback who was more skittish than Romaro Miller in 2000 against Auburn and an offensive game plan that made David Cutcliffe seem innovative, it was pretty amazing they still had a chance to win the game. All of that credit of course goes to the Ole Miss defense, which was as good as advertised. They were certainly helped out by South Carolina’s sloppiness and penalties, especially inside the 10, but for the most part they did their job.
The same cannot be said for the Ole Miss offense. First, the game plan. The only explanation for this conservative atrocity I could come up with was that the coaches must have known how bad our offensive line was at pass blocking, and thus kept it simple. Even then it still doesn’t explain why the best player in the whole damn stadium, Dexter McCluster, touched the ball once in the first half. ONCE. Why they waited until we were elbow deep in shit to start giving him the ball made no sense at all. I understand his body can’t handle 25 touches a game for a season, but perhaps he should get more than one touch a half. Just a thought.
Second, Jevan Snead. It’s pretty obvious he has no faith in his offensive line and is rarely comfortable when he drops back to pass. He failed to step up into the pocket several times, which led to a sack or getting hit as he was throwing, and often danced around and threw on the run when it wasn’t necessary. Of course, it’s hard to throw into coverages of seven and eight, which South Carolina was able to have since they were getting pressure with only three and four (and sometimes JUST TWO) rushers. Had they blitzed more they might have set a sack record. Snead went through this problem early last year and one would think he would be over it by now, but clearly he is not. He has to settle himself down and remember how to operate in a pocket.
And third, the offensive line. Remember when I said I thought Ole Miss’ offensive line would be a little more stable than Alabama’s? I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more wrong in my life. We’re getting nothing with Bradley Sowell at left tackle and John Jerry, one of the returning starters, decided to take the night off. The other three spots played okay for the most part, but as a whole this group is just bad right now. And to be honest, I didn’t see anything that gave me hope they might turn it around over the next few games. Also, I’ll get more into Sowell and his now infamous quote later.
As for South Carolina, Stephen Garcia showed flashes of competence and is firmly entrenched himself in the slightly above average category. I thought he played pretty well considering the beating he was taking. He didn’t make any killer mistakes and made the simple throws that were required of him. I would have like to seen him operate a drive in which a score was absolutely needed, but thanks to the Ole Miss offense, I didn’t get that chance. Also, I keep hammering the Ole Miss offense, but part of their lack of success was the South Carolina defense. They played really well, especially up front, which after the Georgia debacle, I never would have believed.
And finally (seriously, this is it), I’ve never seen more media outrage over Ole Miss being ranked number four (or five depending on the poll) after losing a road SEC game on a Thursday night to a team that won seven games last year, including four SEC games. Now, I’m not saying Ole Miss didn’t deserve some criticism because they did, but such a vicious attack on Ole Miss and virtually no credit to South Carolina was ridiculous. And last time I checked, no one that plays, coaches or works for Ole Miss voted or hyped Ole Miss up to be the number four team in the country. That was done by the same assholes who couldn’t believe Ole Miss was number four.
I’m also still waiting for the same attacks on Penn State, California and USC. Penn State lost AT HOME in front of 100,000 people by 11 to another shitty Big Ten team. All I’ve heard here is how great Iowa is. Guess what? Iowa sucks, just like the rest of the Big Ten. California at least went on the road to get annihilated, yet no cries of how overrated they are when they do this same crap EVERY YEAR. And let’s not forget USC, then ranked number three, lost on the road to a Washington team that last won a game in 2007. 2007. Their biggest win was over another overrated Big Ten team that has been consistently destroyed when playing outside the conference. Please, let me know when the crucifixions of these teams take place.
LSU 30, Mississippi State 26
Speaking of overrated, welcome to the club LSU. A team that can’t run, can’t stop the run and whose quarterback is at best average. Even a Chris Todd-led Auburn offense racked up 500 yards on this Mississippi State defense. But if I cared at all about LSU, my biggest concern would be this is now two years running of below average defense. Yes, the goal line stand was involved a huge play by a great athlete, but the fact Mississippi State even got into that position is embarrassing. A five-foot nothing quarterback led three scoring drives of 66 yards or more, and was able to get down to the four-inch line in the final minutes. That can be best described as not good.
If you’re Mississippi State, you had a chance to beat the number seven team in the country despite turning the ball over four times and allowing an absurd 93-yard punt return for a touchdown (these stats are also a great indicator as to how bad LSU’s offense was). Yes, it was a sucky way to lose a game, but it was a sign of great progress for a team that was totally outmatched at Auburn just two weeks ago. We’ll find out more about this team and Dan Mullen if he can get them to carry over this success in the next two weeks against Georgia Tech and Houston, which now look like winnable games. But, damn, four inches. That’s going to be hard to get over.
Alabama 35, Arkansas 7
As Ryan Mallett found out, it’s much easier to throw against crappy defenses than good ones. Alabama made life miserable for Mallett and the Arkansas offense, exposing their offensive line as below average (which they might do to many offensive lines this year). The only thing that really surprised me about this game was Alabama’s inability to generate much offense outside of big plays against a bad Arkansas defense. Of their five scoring drives, only one was over five minutes and the scoring play was not over 50 yards (one of the drives was a short field drive of 35 yards). Obviously, they took a shot at some big plays and they hit, but I doubt the result would be the same against a more legitimate defense. And the Trent Richardson 50-yard touchdown run was a classic example of how to miss tackles, although credit him for running hard and through one or two of them. I’m still not sold on the Alabama offense, but when they play defense like they do, tons of points and yards aren’t needed.
Florida 41, Kentucky 7
I take back all those nice things I had to say about Rich Brooks. A more unorganized, unprepared team has not taken the field in Lexington since Ed Orgeron took the Ole Miss Rebels there in 2006. The first quarter of Saturday’s game was just awful across the board. The offense was confused, the defense was confused and Rich Brooks was mainly just pissed off. After that though, the Wildcats did settle down, not surrendering 80 points and not getting shutout.
The big story here of course is the Tim Tebow injury. No doubt 40-year old media types wept when they heard their guy was injured and taken to a hospital. And I think most Florida fans stopped breathing until sometime Sunday afternoon. However, what really irritated me about this whole thing was after the play was over and ESPN’s moronic Bob Davie tried to breakdown what happened, he made up what he thought happened and stuck to his guns when it was obvious he was wrong. Watch this:
Davie claimed Kentucky rushed six players when in fact they rushed five. He said the reason for the hit was that Florida had one less blocker in than Kentucky had rushers, which was wrong (five blockers, five rushers). Florida’s left tackle (not sure if he’s related to Bradley Sowell) either screwed up his blocking assignment or Tebow just misread who was actually rushing. From watching the video over and over, I lean in the direction of the offensive lineman since the guy who hit Tebow was in a rush stance. Either way, Bob Davie continued to add evidence to the case that he’s a moron.
Georgia 20, Arizona State 17
And Joe Cox comes crashing back to mediocrity. I think I’m going to create some chart that lists all the mediocre quarterbacks who suddenly turn into Greg Zolloman when he used to play against Ole Miss whenever they play Arkansas. We’ll call it the Joe Cox Effect.
Tennessee 34, Ohio 23
I was off by two passes. Crompton hit 17 instead of 15. Give yourselves $20 for my mistake.
Auburn 54, Ball State 30
I’ll now give myself $20 for correctly predicted Kodi Burns would complete less than five passes. In fact, he attempted no passes.
Vanderbilt 36, Rice 17
No one wants to read a recap of this game.
GAME I DIDN’T PICK BUT DESERVES MENTION HERE
Virginia Tech 31, Miami 7
So the U is not back. Sorry, Luther. As I thought they would, Virginia Tech didn’t let Jacory Harris sit back and throw and as a result, they dominated the Hurricanes. Let’s hope all the future Miami opponents took note of this strategy.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches.)
Anthony Dixon, RB, Mississippi State
Dixon pounded away at LSU and scratched out 106 yards and two touchdowns on 27 carries. He ran hard, looked lean and even showed flashes of some speed, which I never knew he had. Unfortunately for him and his team, he was not given the ball when it was four inches away from the end zone.
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play.)
Bradley Sowell, LT, Ole Miss
"I'm glad it's over with so everybody can stop talking about it and we can just play ball.”
I had nothing against him after the game other than just being angry that he was the best we could trot out at left tackle. It’s not necessarily his fault he’s playing when he sucks. But then he opened his mouth and said this. I hope someone on the defense went over and punched him in the balls for stealing the victory they earned. Instead of embracing the high ranking and wanting to prove everyone else wrong, he acted like it was some giant burden or cross he had to carry, much like a teenage girl who doesn’t like the situation in which she finds herself. Seriously, that’s what he thought. With another performance like the one in Columbia, the name of this weekly award might be changed to his name.
JOHN VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
(Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him.)
Urban Meyer, Florida
Destroying a relatively hostile environment in 15 minutes was quite impressive. I assumed it would take the better part of two and a half quarters, but in just 15 minutes he was up 31-0 over Kentucky.
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
LSU at Georgia
A battle of mediocre teams, one of which is disguised as the fourth ranked team in America. Despite the reeking of mediocrity, I think this should be a good game.
Ole Miss at Vanderbilt
Surely the Ole Miss offensive line isn’t as bad as I think it is. If the Vandy defensive line is terrorizing the Ole Miss backfield, this is going to be an incredibly long year.
GAME RECAPS
South Carolina 16, Ole Miss 10
Given that the Rebels had a matador playing left tackle, a quarterback who was more skittish than Romaro Miller in 2000 against Auburn and an offensive game plan that made David Cutcliffe seem innovative, it was pretty amazing they still had a chance to win the game. All of that credit of course goes to the Ole Miss defense, which was as good as advertised. They were certainly helped out by South Carolina’s sloppiness and penalties, especially inside the 10, but for the most part they did their job.
The same cannot be said for the Ole Miss offense. First, the game plan. The only explanation for this conservative atrocity I could come up with was that the coaches must have known how bad our offensive line was at pass blocking, and thus kept it simple. Even then it still doesn’t explain why the best player in the whole damn stadium, Dexter McCluster, touched the ball once in the first half. ONCE. Why they waited until we were elbow deep in shit to start giving him the ball made no sense at all. I understand his body can’t handle 25 touches a game for a season, but perhaps he should get more than one touch a half. Just a thought.
Second, Jevan Snead. It’s pretty obvious he has no faith in his offensive line and is rarely comfortable when he drops back to pass. He failed to step up into the pocket several times, which led to a sack or getting hit as he was throwing, and often danced around and threw on the run when it wasn’t necessary. Of course, it’s hard to throw into coverages of seven and eight, which South Carolina was able to have since they were getting pressure with only three and four (and sometimes JUST TWO) rushers. Had they blitzed more they might have set a sack record. Snead went through this problem early last year and one would think he would be over it by now, but clearly he is not. He has to settle himself down and remember how to operate in a pocket.
And third, the offensive line. Remember when I said I thought Ole Miss’ offensive line would be a little more stable than Alabama’s? I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more wrong in my life. We’re getting nothing with Bradley Sowell at left tackle and John Jerry, one of the returning starters, decided to take the night off. The other three spots played okay for the most part, but as a whole this group is just bad right now. And to be honest, I didn’t see anything that gave me hope they might turn it around over the next few games. Also, I’ll get more into Sowell and his now infamous quote later.
As for South Carolina, Stephen Garcia showed flashes of competence and is firmly entrenched himself in the slightly above average category. I thought he played pretty well considering the beating he was taking. He didn’t make any killer mistakes and made the simple throws that were required of him. I would have like to seen him operate a drive in which a score was absolutely needed, but thanks to the Ole Miss offense, I didn’t get that chance. Also, I keep hammering the Ole Miss offense, but part of their lack of success was the South Carolina defense. They played really well, especially up front, which after the Georgia debacle, I never would have believed.
And finally (seriously, this is it), I’ve never seen more media outrage over Ole Miss being ranked number four (or five depending on the poll) after losing a road SEC game on a Thursday night to a team that won seven games last year, including four SEC games. Now, I’m not saying Ole Miss didn’t deserve some criticism because they did, but such a vicious attack on Ole Miss and virtually no credit to South Carolina was ridiculous. And last time I checked, no one that plays, coaches or works for Ole Miss voted or hyped Ole Miss up to be the number four team in the country. That was done by the same assholes who couldn’t believe Ole Miss was number four.
I’m also still waiting for the same attacks on Penn State, California and USC. Penn State lost AT HOME in front of 100,000 people by 11 to another shitty Big Ten team. All I’ve heard here is how great Iowa is. Guess what? Iowa sucks, just like the rest of the Big Ten. California at least went on the road to get annihilated, yet no cries of how overrated they are when they do this same crap EVERY YEAR. And let’s not forget USC, then ranked number three, lost on the road to a Washington team that last won a game in 2007. 2007. Their biggest win was over another overrated Big Ten team that has been consistently destroyed when playing outside the conference. Please, let me know when the crucifixions of these teams take place.
LSU 30, Mississippi State 26
Speaking of overrated, welcome to the club LSU. A team that can’t run, can’t stop the run and whose quarterback is at best average. Even a Chris Todd-led Auburn offense racked up 500 yards on this Mississippi State defense. But if I cared at all about LSU, my biggest concern would be this is now two years running of below average defense. Yes, the goal line stand was involved a huge play by a great athlete, but the fact Mississippi State even got into that position is embarrassing. A five-foot nothing quarterback led three scoring drives of 66 yards or more, and was able to get down to the four-inch line in the final minutes. That can be best described as not good.
If you’re Mississippi State, you had a chance to beat the number seven team in the country despite turning the ball over four times and allowing an absurd 93-yard punt return for a touchdown (these stats are also a great indicator as to how bad LSU’s offense was). Yes, it was a sucky way to lose a game, but it was a sign of great progress for a team that was totally outmatched at Auburn just two weeks ago. We’ll find out more about this team and Dan Mullen if he can get them to carry over this success in the next two weeks against Georgia Tech and Houston, which now look like winnable games. But, damn, four inches. That’s going to be hard to get over.
Alabama 35, Arkansas 7
As Ryan Mallett found out, it’s much easier to throw against crappy defenses than good ones. Alabama made life miserable for Mallett and the Arkansas offense, exposing their offensive line as below average (which they might do to many offensive lines this year). The only thing that really surprised me about this game was Alabama’s inability to generate much offense outside of big plays against a bad Arkansas defense. Of their five scoring drives, only one was over five minutes and the scoring play was not over 50 yards (one of the drives was a short field drive of 35 yards). Obviously, they took a shot at some big plays and they hit, but I doubt the result would be the same against a more legitimate defense. And the Trent Richardson 50-yard touchdown run was a classic example of how to miss tackles, although credit him for running hard and through one or two of them. I’m still not sold on the Alabama offense, but when they play defense like they do, tons of points and yards aren’t needed.
Florida 41, Kentucky 7
I take back all those nice things I had to say about Rich Brooks. A more unorganized, unprepared team has not taken the field in Lexington since Ed Orgeron took the Ole Miss Rebels there in 2006. The first quarter of Saturday’s game was just awful across the board. The offense was confused, the defense was confused and Rich Brooks was mainly just pissed off. After that though, the Wildcats did settle down, not surrendering 80 points and not getting shutout.
The big story here of course is the Tim Tebow injury. No doubt 40-year old media types wept when they heard their guy was injured and taken to a hospital. And I think most Florida fans stopped breathing until sometime Sunday afternoon. However, what really irritated me about this whole thing was after the play was over and ESPN’s moronic Bob Davie tried to breakdown what happened, he made up what he thought happened and stuck to his guns when it was obvious he was wrong. Watch this:
Davie claimed Kentucky rushed six players when in fact they rushed five. He said the reason for the hit was that Florida had one less blocker in than Kentucky had rushers, which was wrong (five blockers, five rushers). Florida’s left tackle (not sure if he’s related to Bradley Sowell) either screwed up his blocking assignment or Tebow just misread who was actually rushing. From watching the video over and over, I lean in the direction of the offensive lineman since the guy who hit Tebow was in a rush stance. Either way, Bob Davie continued to add evidence to the case that he’s a moron.
Georgia 20, Arizona State 17
And Joe Cox comes crashing back to mediocrity. I think I’m going to create some chart that lists all the mediocre quarterbacks who suddenly turn into Greg Zolloman when he used to play against Ole Miss whenever they play Arkansas. We’ll call it the Joe Cox Effect.
Tennessee 34, Ohio 23
I was off by two passes. Crompton hit 17 instead of 15. Give yourselves $20 for my mistake.
Auburn 54, Ball State 30
I’ll now give myself $20 for correctly predicted Kodi Burns would complete less than five passes. In fact, he attempted no passes.
Vanderbilt 36, Rice 17
No one wants to read a recap of this game.
GAME I DIDN’T PICK BUT DESERVES MENTION HERE
Virginia Tech 31, Miami 7
So the U is not back. Sorry, Luther. As I thought they would, Virginia Tech didn’t let Jacory Harris sit back and throw and as a result, they dominated the Hurricanes. Let’s hope all the future Miami opponents took note of this strategy.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches.)
Anthony Dixon, RB, Mississippi State
Dixon pounded away at LSU and scratched out 106 yards and two touchdowns on 27 carries. He ran hard, looked lean and even showed flashes of some speed, which I never knew he had. Unfortunately for him and his team, he was not given the ball when it was four inches away from the end zone.
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play.)
Bradley Sowell, LT, Ole Miss
"I'm glad it's over with so everybody can stop talking about it and we can just play ball.”
I had nothing against him after the game other than just being angry that he was the best we could trot out at left tackle. It’s not necessarily his fault he’s playing when he sucks. But then he opened his mouth and said this. I hope someone on the defense went over and punched him in the balls for stealing the victory they earned. Instead of embracing the high ranking and wanting to prove everyone else wrong, he acted like it was some giant burden or cross he had to carry, much like a teenage girl who doesn’t like the situation in which she finds herself. Seriously, that’s what he thought. With another performance like the one in Columbia, the name of this weekly award might be changed to his name.
JOHN VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
(Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him.)
Urban Meyer, Florida
Destroying a relatively hostile environment in 15 minutes was quite impressive. I assumed it would take the better part of two and a half quarters, but in just 15 minutes he was up 31-0 over Kentucky.
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
LSU at Georgia
A battle of mediocre teams, one of which is disguised as the fourth ranked team in America. Despite the reeking of mediocrity, I think this should be a good game.
Ole Miss at Vanderbilt
Surely the Ole Miss offensive line isn’t as bad as I think it is. If the Vandy defensive line is terrorizing the Ole Miss backfield, this is going to be an incredibly long year.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
SEC Picks of Week 4
Made while staring at a clock that just won’t get to 6:30 fast enough…
Last week: 8-1
Season: 24-3 (.889)
Ole Miss at South Carolina
For months now, this is the game I’ve been pointing to as the make or break game for Ole Miss’ season. Win and the Rebels probably win 10 games. Lose and that total will be closer to seven or eight. And for months I’ve been simply terrified of this game. On the road, first real game of the season and the Thursday night home underdog’s amazing ability to pull off wins (I have no evidence to back this up other than I vaguely remember reading that the home underdog has an outright winning record. I guess you’ll have to trust me.).
Well, we’ve finally arrived at the day of reckoning and I’m strangely calm after being miserably worried Sunday through Tuesday. Sometime Tuesday morning I had some sort of an epiphany and feel no worry as the game nears. Now, I will certainly be filled with that nervous nauseous feeling once the game starts, but that cannot be helped. Yes, I do understand that it’s completely insane to get so worked up over the actions of 18-22 year olds, but screw you for judging me.
Anyway, here’s why I like Ole Miss to win and, as of now, feel no worry:
-Ole Miss has better players. Seriously, look up and down both rosters. Ole Miss will hold an edge at a majority of the positions. South Carolina doesn’t have what Ole Miss has on offense and hasn’t shown much on defense.
-The Ole Miss defense is not the same defense South Carolina destroyed last year. Yes, many of the same players are there, but that defense that lost became something much greater as the season went on. The Gamecocks haven’t played the current defense and I don’t think they can handle them.
-The Ole Miss offense, which has been much more chunky than smooth, has run absolutely nothing filled with any sort of creativity or strategy. It’s been all basic plays that rely on nothing but superior skill. Pure skill doesn’t work when conference play starts and that’s why you’ll see a much more diverse and creative offense tonight.
The bottom line is that if Ole Miss doesn’t turn the ball over, they’ll win. In fact, that will be the story for pretty much the rest of the year. The only team that can beat Ole Miss straight up is Alabama. Everyone else will need help and even if South Carolina gets a little help, they can’t win.
LSU at Mississippi State
In the days of old, as in just two years ago, this skull dragging would be over with by the second quarter. However, LSU doesn’t have the offensive firepower they once had and their defense isn’t the F5 tornado it once was. I’m very interested to see how the LSU defense plays in this one. It’s a game they should dominate, much like Auburn dominated State, but if they don’t, some serious questions need to be asked about this defense. State doesn’t have enough of anything to win this game, so I don’t think the outcome will ever be in doubt, but I think this is a great opportunity to find out if LSU really is an elite team in the SEC.
Arkansas at Alabama
I said earlier this week that I’m fascinated by the coaching match up in this game. Nick Saban’s defense going up against Bobby Petrino’s offense. Saban has had basically two weeks to get ready for this game (since North Texas preparation was most likely kept to a minimum) and I like his chances with that much time to get ready. Plus, if he just looked at the Georgia film and did the exact opposite of whatever they did, he’d already be doing much better.
Arkansas has no defense and everyone knows it. Look for Alabama to pound away via the ground game and keep the Arkansas offense off the field. With Alabama’s ability to run and then mix in the play action they love so much, I think they’ll put plenty of points on the board. Arkansas can’t stop them and they’ll have to play a perfect game on offense to have a chance, but they won’t. Alabama wins.
Florida at Kentucky
A perfect chance to add validity to my belief that Rich Brooks is a good coach. Tennessee showed everyone how to play this Florida team and I expect Brooks to follow suit. He’s got a little more offensive talent so he can be a little more aggressive than the Vols, but it’s not enough to win. I just want to see Kentucky keep it within a few scores and make it a mildly competitive game.
Arizona State at Georgia
Can Joe Cox live the good life for another week? It probably doesn’t matter. As long as Georgia avoids massive quantities of turnovers, they win. And remember when there was a contingent of Ole Miss fans (a contingent made up Pete Boone and Robert Khayat) who thought Dennis Erickson should become Ole Miss’ next head coach? What an outstanding idea. Granted, he certainly would have been better than Ed Orgeron initially, but so would have an eight-year old.
Ball State at Auburn
I’ve got $20 that says Kodi Burns can’t complete more than five passes.
Ohio at Tennessee
I’ve got another $20 that says Jonathan Crompton can’t complete 15.
Vanderbilt at Rice
One of a handful of times Vandy will play a team that’s actually worse than they are. So they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. Vandy wins.
Last week: 8-1
Season: 24-3 (.889)
Ole Miss at South Carolina
For months now, this is the game I’ve been pointing to as the make or break game for Ole Miss’ season. Win and the Rebels probably win 10 games. Lose and that total will be closer to seven or eight. And for months I’ve been simply terrified of this game. On the road, first real game of the season and the Thursday night home underdog’s amazing ability to pull off wins (I have no evidence to back this up other than I vaguely remember reading that the home underdog has an outright winning record. I guess you’ll have to trust me.).
Well, we’ve finally arrived at the day of reckoning and I’m strangely calm after being miserably worried Sunday through Tuesday. Sometime Tuesday morning I had some sort of an epiphany and feel no worry as the game nears. Now, I will certainly be filled with that nervous nauseous feeling once the game starts, but that cannot be helped. Yes, I do understand that it’s completely insane to get so worked up over the actions of 18-22 year olds, but screw you for judging me.
Anyway, here’s why I like Ole Miss to win and, as of now, feel no worry:
-Ole Miss has better players. Seriously, look up and down both rosters. Ole Miss will hold an edge at a majority of the positions. South Carolina doesn’t have what Ole Miss has on offense and hasn’t shown much on defense.
-The Ole Miss defense is not the same defense South Carolina destroyed last year. Yes, many of the same players are there, but that defense that lost became something much greater as the season went on. The Gamecocks haven’t played the current defense and I don’t think they can handle them.
-The Ole Miss offense, which has been much more chunky than smooth, has run absolutely nothing filled with any sort of creativity or strategy. It’s been all basic plays that rely on nothing but superior skill. Pure skill doesn’t work when conference play starts and that’s why you’ll see a much more diverse and creative offense tonight.
The bottom line is that if Ole Miss doesn’t turn the ball over, they’ll win. In fact, that will be the story for pretty much the rest of the year. The only team that can beat Ole Miss straight up is Alabama. Everyone else will need help and even if South Carolina gets a little help, they can’t win.
LSU at Mississippi State
In the days of old, as in just two years ago, this skull dragging would be over with by the second quarter. However, LSU doesn’t have the offensive firepower they once had and their defense isn’t the F5 tornado it once was. I’m very interested to see how the LSU defense plays in this one. It’s a game they should dominate, much like Auburn dominated State, but if they don’t, some serious questions need to be asked about this defense. State doesn’t have enough of anything to win this game, so I don’t think the outcome will ever be in doubt, but I think this is a great opportunity to find out if LSU really is an elite team in the SEC.
Arkansas at Alabama
I said earlier this week that I’m fascinated by the coaching match up in this game. Nick Saban’s defense going up against Bobby Petrino’s offense. Saban has had basically two weeks to get ready for this game (since North Texas preparation was most likely kept to a minimum) and I like his chances with that much time to get ready. Plus, if he just looked at the Georgia film and did the exact opposite of whatever they did, he’d already be doing much better.
Arkansas has no defense and everyone knows it. Look for Alabama to pound away via the ground game and keep the Arkansas offense off the field. With Alabama’s ability to run and then mix in the play action they love so much, I think they’ll put plenty of points on the board. Arkansas can’t stop them and they’ll have to play a perfect game on offense to have a chance, but they won’t. Alabama wins.
Florida at Kentucky
A perfect chance to add validity to my belief that Rich Brooks is a good coach. Tennessee showed everyone how to play this Florida team and I expect Brooks to follow suit. He’s got a little more offensive talent so he can be a little more aggressive than the Vols, but it’s not enough to win. I just want to see Kentucky keep it within a few scores and make it a mildly competitive game.
Arizona State at Georgia
Can Joe Cox live the good life for another week? It probably doesn’t matter. As long as Georgia avoids massive quantities of turnovers, they win. And remember when there was a contingent of Ole Miss fans (a contingent made up Pete Boone and Robert Khayat) who thought Dennis Erickson should become Ole Miss’ next head coach? What an outstanding idea. Granted, he certainly would have been better than Ed Orgeron initially, but so would have an eight-year old.
Ball State at Auburn
I’ve got $20 that says Kodi Burns can’t complete more than five passes.
Ohio at Tennessee
I’ve got another $20 that says Jonathan Crompton can’t complete 15.
Vanderbilt at Rice
One of a handful of times Vandy will play a team that’s actually worse than they are. So they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. Vandy wins.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Belly of the Beast Call-In Show
Week two of the “call-in” show, albeit a little late, but there. This means it’s lasted one week longer than I thought it would. On to our first caller…
Bodhi from Venice Beach, CA: What’s up with SC when they go to the Pacific Northwest? Is it the rainy climate? Clouds? The seemingly never-ending sea of white people? If they want the ultimate thrill, they’ve gotta be willing to pay the ultimate price.
Gray: I knew you survived that giant wave in Australia. But as for your question, the Trojans appear to be allergic to whatever’s in the air in the Pacific Northwest. They’ve now lost in that area of the country in 2009, 2008 (Oregon State), 2007 (Oregon) and 2006 (Oregon State), all of which were loses to inferior teams. They seem to have no problem plundering and pillaging the rest of the Pac-10, but fall to pieces when they go were the sun is behind the clouds 300 days of the year. I’m not sure why that happens, but I do have some ideas to fix this problem for next year.
1) Did you see the ESPN segment last week about all the USC players singing “Lean on Me” during a team meeting? Yes? Well scratch that feel good crap. Start singing something with inner angst and rage. I recommend something out of the Nirvana catalog. Perhaps something like “In Bloom” would set the mood right.
2) Since every day in Southern California is like 80 degrees and sunny, practice at night in the desert and have some of those “cool zone” machines used for hot weather spray a constant, cold mist over the field. This will give a more accurate feel for the weather one will experience there.
3) Throw cultural diversity out the window. Invite every white person in Los Angeles to practice. This will help simulate the thousands of all-white faces that will be staring at the team when they play up there next year.
Do that and your fortunes should improve. Next caller…
Dale from Omaha: How painful was Nebraska’s last minute collapse against Virginia Tech on Saturday?
Gray: Well, as an Ole Miss fan, I’ve been through more awful loses than I can remember. Eventually the pain dulls and everything runs together so you sort of lose track of all the misery. But as for your loss on Saturday, it was particularly brutal. You were in control for virtually most of the game and limited Virginia Tech’s hapless offense no almost nothing through the air. You also continued to show the country that despite what talking heads constantly say, Tyrod Taylor is an absolutely horrible quarterback.
And then you blew up. I didn’t really care who won the game, but as I watched Taylor scramble around on third down and not pursued by defensive linemen, I was reminded of Matt Jones’ performance in the seven overtime game (yes, SEVEN OVERTIMES) against Ole Miss. And like you, we lost. Bill Simmons has spent many words coming up with a levels of losing scale and I think this one might create its own level. And to make it even worse, if you had won, the country wouldn’t have to watch an average Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl this year. Thanks for nothing, jackasses.
Next caller…
Luther from Coral Gables, FL: Is the U back?
Gray: Is this Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew fame? I feel honored to be talking with someone who was once a blight on the Miami program for the admitted cash payments and favors for players, yet continues to be a visible presence in the program. Surely you’ve reformed by now and participate in no such activities because that’s the only explanation as to why you’d still be allowed around there right?
Luther: Answer the mother *$%&#@$ question, whitey.
Gray: Indeed I will, good sir. It’s hard to say. On one hand, they’ve handled the mediocre ACC teams that have come their way with an outstanding pass offense, which I never thought I’d be able to say about a Miami team again, and a defense that is suspect against the pass, but has performed well against the run. On the other hand, they’re one accurate Christian Ponder pass away from being 1-1 and unranked and as mentioned, not very good against the pass.
I’m interested in seeing Jacory Harris have to make some throws where he doesn’t have eight seconds to look over the defense before throwing. Credit his offensive line and the play calling for some of that, but I think some of that was the result of playing some bad defenses. Hopefully, Virginia Tech’s defense will show up and we’ll have a more definitive answer this weekend. If not, we’ll have to wait another week when Oklahoma comes to Miami. And if Miami continues this onslaught of offense against these two teams, I’ll admit the U is on their way back. Defensively, I think they’re too shaky right now to have them be all the way back.
One more caller…
Josh from Nashville, TN: If a Big 10 game were held in your backyard, would you watch?
Gray: My first answer would be no, absolutely not. I really have no desire to watch players with the speed of refrigerators, washers and dryers run around in such a big area. However, I am reminded of a Simpsons episode where they give away their old washer and dryer to Moe’s Tavern, and the drunks there race the two against each other. They looked like they were having fun yelling for the washer to win. So perhaps I might.
Until next week.
Bodhi from Venice Beach, CA: What’s up with SC when they go to the Pacific Northwest? Is it the rainy climate? Clouds? The seemingly never-ending sea of white people? If they want the ultimate thrill, they’ve gotta be willing to pay the ultimate price.
Gray: I knew you survived that giant wave in Australia. But as for your question, the Trojans appear to be allergic to whatever’s in the air in the Pacific Northwest. They’ve now lost in that area of the country in 2009, 2008 (Oregon State), 2007 (Oregon) and 2006 (Oregon State), all of which were loses to inferior teams. They seem to have no problem plundering and pillaging the rest of the Pac-10, but fall to pieces when they go were the sun is behind the clouds 300 days of the year. I’m not sure why that happens, but I do have some ideas to fix this problem for next year.
1) Did you see the ESPN segment last week about all the USC players singing “Lean on Me” during a team meeting? Yes? Well scratch that feel good crap. Start singing something with inner angst and rage. I recommend something out of the Nirvana catalog. Perhaps something like “In Bloom” would set the mood right.
2) Since every day in Southern California is like 80 degrees and sunny, practice at night in the desert and have some of those “cool zone” machines used for hot weather spray a constant, cold mist over the field. This will give a more accurate feel for the weather one will experience there.
3) Throw cultural diversity out the window. Invite every white person in Los Angeles to practice. This will help simulate the thousands of all-white faces that will be staring at the team when they play up there next year.
Do that and your fortunes should improve. Next caller…
Dale from Omaha: How painful was Nebraska’s last minute collapse against Virginia Tech on Saturday?
Gray: Well, as an Ole Miss fan, I’ve been through more awful loses than I can remember. Eventually the pain dulls and everything runs together so you sort of lose track of all the misery. But as for your loss on Saturday, it was particularly brutal. You were in control for virtually most of the game and limited Virginia Tech’s hapless offense no almost nothing through the air. You also continued to show the country that despite what talking heads constantly say, Tyrod Taylor is an absolutely horrible quarterback.
And then you blew up. I didn’t really care who won the game, but as I watched Taylor scramble around on third down and not pursued by defensive linemen, I was reminded of Matt Jones’ performance in the seven overtime game (yes, SEVEN OVERTIMES) against Ole Miss. And like you, we lost. Bill Simmons has spent many words coming up with a levels of losing scale and I think this one might create its own level. And to make it even worse, if you had won, the country wouldn’t have to watch an average Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl this year. Thanks for nothing, jackasses.
Next caller…
Luther from Coral Gables, FL: Is the U back?
Gray: Is this Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew fame? I feel honored to be talking with someone who was once a blight on the Miami program for the admitted cash payments and favors for players, yet continues to be a visible presence in the program. Surely you’ve reformed by now and participate in no such activities because that’s the only explanation as to why you’d still be allowed around there right?
Luther: Answer the mother *$%&#@$ question, whitey.
Gray: Indeed I will, good sir. It’s hard to say. On one hand, they’ve handled the mediocre ACC teams that have come their way with an outstanding pass offense, which I never thought I’d be able to say about a Miami team again, and a defense that is suspect against the pass, but has performed well against the run. On the other hand, they’re one accurate Christian Ponder pass away from being 1-1 and unranked and as mentioned, not very good against the pass.
I’m interested in seeing Jacory Harris have to make some throws where he doesn’t have eight seconds to look over the defense before throwing. Credit his offensive line and the play calling for some of that, but I think some of that was the result of playing some bad defenses. Hopefully, Virginia Tech’s defense will show up and we’ll have a more definitive answer this weekend. If not, we’ll have to wait another week when Oklahoma comes to Miami. And if Miami continues this onslaught of offense against these two teams, I’ll admit the U is on their way back. Defensively, I think they’re too shaky right now to have them be all the way back.
One more caller…
Josh from Nashville, TN: If a Big 10 game were held in your backyard, would you watch?
Gray: My first answer would be no, absolutely not. I really have no desire to watch players with the speed of refrigerators, washers and dryers run around in such a big area. However, I am reminded of a Simpsons episode where they give away their old washer and dryer to Moe’s Tavern, and the drunks there race the two against each other. They looked like they were having fun yelling for the washer to win. So perhaps I might.
Until next week.
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