Dan Mullen Charity Clothing Drive

Official Press Release From Mississippi State University
April 6, 2011

Head Football Coach Dan Mullen Announces Charity Clothing Drive During Super Bulldog Weekend

Mississippi State head football coach Dan Mullen and his wife Megan are sponsoring a charity clothing drive for the people of Oktibbeha County. Students of Mississippi State and Starkville residents are encouraged to bring clothes they no longer wear or need to Davis Wade Stadium Thursday, April 7th through Sunday, April 10th. Volunteers will be on hand to collect all clothing from noon to 7 PM each day.

"Megan and I felt like this was the perfect opportunity for the Bulldog community to give back to the community that has tremendously supported us during our time here. With such a large crowd expected for Super Bulldog Weekend, we hope we might see record donations for those who are in need.

"We spent last weekend going through our closets and finding clothes we had not seen or worn in years. It brought back some good memories of some great places, and allowed us to spend some time together. We hope that you will do the same in your home.

"As much as it pains me, I had to let go of some items that were near and dear to my heart. Megan was able to convince me to donate some of my old shirts from my days as a young kid in New Hampshire. I dearly loved those shirts, especially since they poked fun at our neighbor to the west, Vermont, but it was time to let go of them. Of course, it's made much easier when you know it's for a good cause. You can see some of the shirts below:











"I'm sure someone will enjoy these, even if they get some strange looks. It will be a geography lesson of sorts for people in Oktibbeha County.

"One shirt I didn't get rid of was probably my favorite shirt I've ever owned. Megan tried to put in the donation pile and I told her absolutely not. This one will stay with me when I'm old, gray, and in an old folks home somewhere.



"Do you get it? Do you? New Hampshire is the Granite State and the shirt says, 'Don't take it for granite.' Oh, that's just perfect! How did they ever come up with something like that! I'm glad my sense of humor was formed in a place clever enough to put that saying on a t-shirt.  As soon as I stop laughing, I'm going to give three cheers for dear old New Hampshire!"

EDIT:  Attention New Hampshire t-shirt vendors or people who just hate Vermont for one reason or another, don't even think about stealing those.  Through my low-level Photoshop and Illustrator skills, I created that magic.  However, I will gladly sell them to you for the fair price of $2.6 million.   Or something.  Whatever.  Name a price.  If you even exist.

Jordan Jefferson Is Rasputin

Creepiest picture ever? No doubt. Creepiest picture ever.

Much like the old Russian monk/mystic/psychic/healer/poser for terrifying pictures, LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson has been praised by a few at one time in his career, but mostly figuratively (and perhaps literally, knowing LSU fans) stabbed, poisoned, beaten, shot, and drowned by LSU fans and coaches during his three years in Baton Rouge. And every time when it seems like he's not coming out of that icy river of never-going-play-again, Jefferson pulls himself onto the bank, looks around, and says, "Yo, that is some cold-ass water, man. Stop throwin' me in there." (Also, I'm pretty sure Rasputin said the exact same thing.)

After a 2010 regular season in which he threw just FOUR touchdowns to NINE interceptions and generally looked clueless, he rebounded against Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl, looking like a quarterback who was playing his 32nd football game at a D-I level, by throwing three touchdowns (only one interception) and ran for another score and 67 yards. He wasn't great, but he achieved the level of good Jordan Jefferson, which, with a little defense, can win a multitude of games, as Les Miles' career numbers show. No, it doesn't make sense, but nothing with Les Miles and LSU makes sense (see: Tennessee at LSU, Oct. 2, 2010).

Despite his performance in the Cotton Bowl, and 11-2 record last year, Jefferson was not named the starter heading into spring practice. Jarrett Lee, who saw significant playing time in stretches last season (and is entering his 35th year at LSU), and junior college transfer and former Georgia quarterback Zach Mettenberger (of drankin' and grabbin' arrest fame) were given an opportunity to win the job. As of this past weekend, Jefferson has, inexplicably, once again emerged as the starter for now.

According to Les Miles, "Again, what continues to be a routine occurrence is that Jordan Jefferson is having better practices and throwing the ball better. He can describe what he sees, how he sees the play. He understands exactly what’s going on...it’s currently Jefferson and Lee and then Mettenberger."

Perhaps, it's that Jarrett Lee is one of the worst quarterbacks in the conference...

/checks Lee's stats
/Yikes!
/confirmed

...or that Mettenberger is still adjusting to non-junior college football, or if faced with stiffer competition, Jefferson would finally stay in that river.  Or maybe it's that he helped cure a Les Miles intestinal ailment by encouraging Miles to eat grass off the ground of Tiger Stadium.  Whatever the reason, Jefferson, despite many challengers and demotions, will not go away.

Does this mean we should expect a breakout year from Jefferson in 2011?



Can you imagine a Les Miles LSU team with a competent quarterback?  No more last-second hey-look-what-I-found wins.  No more 58 minutes of offensive horror, followed by two minutes of precision and 45-yard left-handed, eyes closed touchdown passes.  In other words, the end of Les Miles as we know him.  That's a cold and dark world I don't want to know.  And thanks to the options available to him (Jefferson, Lee, and Mettenberger), it's a world we will not have to know for quite some time.

Stand And Be Recognized

You're staring at the final standings of The Belly of the Beast's NCAA Tournament pool. Highlighted in yellow at the bottom, you can observe my outstanding bracket, which, after the Sweet 16 was set, scored ZERO POINTS. That's almost impossible to do. Perhaps even more impossible that getting the Final Four right. But, more importantly, you'll notice the winner at the very top, NIT, which is the bracket submission of reader Brian.

By way of selecting UConn to reach the championship game, Brian came from behind and took home first place. Now that he is one of life's winners, he can expect admiring looks and showers of praise coming his way. He is also entitled to a $100 gift from himself, which I'm sure will be lovely, and an unidentified PDF from my computer's desktop. Turns out, that PDF was a copy of the letter Ohio State sent the NCAA when they discovered round one of Jim Tressel's lying, cheating ways. It most certainly is the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.

So congratulations to Brian, and thanks to everyone for signing up. Next year, I vow to crack the top 25.

The Band Is Back Together

Click to observe the intricate details

While the quarterback battle in Oxford continues to rage on, though it appears the four-headed monster of options has become more of a one-headed monster with little tiny heads on its shoulders, Houston Nutt and new offensive coordinator David Lee are busy learning how to recreate offensive fusion together. Their last album, McFadden and Jones in 2007, was a commercial and critical success, setting records and reintroducing the long-forgotten Wildcat sound since copied by so many other groups.

Unfortunately, their success in Arkansas also drove them apart. Lee left after 2007 to pursue a solo career in Miami and Nutt sought refuge at Ole Miss. Whether they can find the dynamic that made them such an offensive force in 2007 depends on the answers to a pair of questions. One, can Houston Nutt fully give up creative control as he has said he will? He's been so unwilling to do so with previous coordinators, one has to doubt if he will give Lee the room he needs to adequately explore the studio space.

And two, can the pair find the inspiration that made such an outstanding piece of work in 2007? Ole Miss does not have a Darren McFadden or Felix Jones on its roster. It has some good players and fine complimentary players, but, as far as what current players have shown in their careers, there are none that create awe, which is necessary to reach transcendent heights of offensive fusion.

At the very least, I hope there will be a laser light show.

For What Won't SEC Fans Tailgate?

Hey, look!  Another list!  But to that I say, until there are more hours in the day, or I become more efficient with my time, I'll always fall back on list-making when I haven't the time to properly explore the space and launch into a dissertation about the reunion tour of The Houston Nutt and David Lee Experience.

/crosses fingers for more hours in the day
/STEP TO IT, MAYANS

As I mentioned the other day on Twitter (you too can follow me by pressing on a link over there ------->), an Alabama fan let Clay Travis, of book, Internet, and bad joke fame, know that he and a group of Alabama fans were tailgating for the HBO special on alleged pay-for-play operations going on at Auburn:

So the question that comes to my mind, while I should be doing other important things, is for what won't SEC fans tailgate? BEHOLD, the list:

Opening of Target
Opening of Super Target
Funerals (fans in Louisiana are the lone exception)
Basketball Games (not even sure this happens in Kentucky)
National Spelling Bee
Open Bar Wedding Receptions
Church (Baptism days may be excluded)
Youth Soccer Games
Interior Decorating
Snacks
Democratic National Convention
Coffee Breaks
Reading (assuming literacy is present)
Movies With Wizards, Vampires, and Werewolves n' Shit
Jim Delany's Inauguration as Lord of College Football
Surgery (at least for the patient)
AA Meetings
Trip to Graceland (respect, y'all)
Ironing
Five for Fighting Shows (only because they won't be there, since it's so, you know, GAY AND STUFF)

And that's pretty much it. Everything else, and literally, everything else, has been or will be a tailgating experience.