Week two of the “call-in” show, albeit a little late, but there. This means it’s lasted one week longer than I thought it would. On to our first caller…
Bodhi from Venice Beach, CA: What’s up with SC when they go to the Pacific Northwest? Is it the rainy climate? Clouds? The seemingly never-ending sea of white people? If they want the ultimate thrill, they’ve gotta be willing to pay the ultimate price.
Gray: I knew you survived that giant wave in Australia. But as for your question, the Trojans appear to be allergic to whatever’s in the air in the Pacific Northwest. They’ve now lost in that area of the country in 2009, 2008 (Oregon State), 2007 (Oregon) and 2006 (Oregon State), all of which were loses to inferior teams. They seem to have no problem plundering and pillaging the rest of the Pac-10, but fall to pieces when they go were the sun is behind the clouds 300 days of the year. I’m not sure why that happens, but I do have some ideas to fix this problem for next year.
1) Did you see the ESPN segment last week about all the USC players singing “Lean on Me” during a team meeting? Yes? Well scratch that feel good crap. Start singing something with inner angst and rage. I recommend something out of the Nirvana catalog. Perhaps something like “In Bloom” would set the mood right.
2) Since every day in Southern California is like 80 degrees and sunny, practice at night in the desert and have some of those “cool zone” machines used for hot weather spray a constant, cold mist over the field. This will give a more accurate feel for the weather one will experience there.
3) Throw cultural diversity out the window. Invite every white person in Los Angeles to practice. This will help simulate the thousands of all-white faces that will be staring at the team when they play up there next year.
Do that and your fortunes should improve. Next caller…
Dale from Omaha: How painful was Nebraska’s last minute collapse against Virginia Tech on Saturday?
Gray: Well, as an Ole Miss fan, I’ve been through more awful loses than I can remember. Eventually the pain dulls and everything runs together so you sort of lose track of all the misery. But as for your loss on Saturday, it was particularly brutal. You were in control for virtually most of the game and limited Virginia Tech’s hapless offense no almost nothing through the air. You also continued to show the country that despite what talking heads constantly say, Tyrod Taylor is an absolutely horrible quarterback.
And then you blew up. I didn’t really care who won the game, but as I watched Taylor scramble around on third down and not pursued by defensive linemen, I was reminded of Matt Jones’ performance in the seven overtime game (yes, SEVEN OVERTIMES) against Ole Miss. And like you, we lost. Bill Simmons has spent many words coming up with a levels of losing scale and I think this one might create its own level. And to make it even worse, if you had won, the country wouldn’t have to watch an average Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl this year. Thanks for nothing, jackasses.
Next caller…
Luther from Coral Gables, FL: Is the U back?
Gray: Is this Luther Campbell from 2 Live Crew fame? I feel honored to be talking with someone who was once a blight on the Miami program for the admitted cash payments and favors for players, yet continues to be a visible presence in the program. Surely you’ve reformed by now and participate in no such activities because that’s the only explanation as to why you’d still be allowed around there right?
Luther: Answer the mother *$%&#@$ question, whitey.
Gray: Indeed I will, good sir. It’s hard to say. On one hand, they’ve handled the mediocre ACC teams that have come their way with an outstanding pass offense, which I never thought I’d be able to say about a Miami team again, and a defense that is suspect against the pass, but has performed well against the run. On the other hand, they’re one accurate Christian Ponder pass away from being 1-1 and unranked and as mentioned, not very good against the pass.
I’m interested in seeing Jacory Harris have to make some throws where he doesn’t have eight seconds to look over the defense before throwing. Credit his offensive line and the play calling for some of that, but I think some of that was the result of playing some bad defenses. Hopefully, Virginia Tech’s defense will show up and we’ll have a more definitive answer this weekend. If not, we’ll have to wait another week when Oklahoma comes to Miami. And if Miami continues this onslaught of offense against these two teams, I’ll admit the U is on their way back. Defensively, I think they’re too shaky right now to have them be all the way back.
One more caller…
Josh from Nashville, TN: If a Big 10 game were held in your backyard, would you watch?
Gray: My first answer would be no, absolutely not. I really have no desire to watch players with the speed of refrigerators, washers and dryers run around in such a big area. However, I am reminded of a Simpsons episode where they give away their old washer and dryer to Moe’s Tavern, and the drunks there race the two against each other. They looked like they were having fun yelling for the washer to win. So perhaps I might.
Until next week.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
From the Weekend That Was
Even though I was faced with a battle against a combination of whooping cough, tuberculosis, scarlet fever, post nasal drip and perhaps a touch of the black lung, I managed to plow through something like 11 hours of college football on Saturday just so I could have something to write about here today. Well, that’s not actually true. I did it because I’m sort of an addict and like all addicts, despite my condition and environment, I had to have the good stuff.
Anyway, I’m trying on a new pair of pants around here (and yes, they were from the Pants Store) so there’s a little more content below all the game recaps. So feel free to stick around and read that after you are reminded of all the ways your team did or did not disappoint you over the weekend.
GAME RECAPS
Kentucky 31, Louisville 27
If you live outside the state of Kentucky (with the exception of fans of these schools), there is literally zero appeal to this game. Kentucky football isn’t bringing anything glamorous to the table and the days of Louisville lighting up scoreboards and piling up yards are gone. So what we had left was two teams with bad defenses giving up points to mediocre offenses. Luckily, this game came on during the time when most people were getting ramped up for the Florida/Tennessee game and no one was really paying attention.
The only thing worth noting here was that Kentucky offensive coordinator Randy Sanders broke his arm when one of his players crashed into him as a play spilled into the sidelines. Tennessee fans would want you to believe he broke it while aggressively putting his hands around his throat while calling plays, but that would be incorrect.
Alabama 53, North Texas 7
Just never listen to me when it comes to point spreads. I know nothing.
Florida 23, Tennessee 13
It wasn’t the raging bloodbath that many were hoping for, and actually was a pretty boring game, but what America did get out of this was a blueprint on how to beat Florida. A patient, time-consuming ground game, mixed in with some play action and screens, and a defense that takes away deep plays, calls some great blitzes and puts the burden on the Florida rushing game to win. You really can’t put into words how well Tennessee’s defense played considering they weren’t getting much help from their offense. Of course, Tennessee played about as well as they could have played on defense (and arguably on offense given what they have at quarterback) and still lost. However, a team with a competent quarterback and offense in general can beat Florida, provided they get a defensive effort and game plan like the ones Tennessee put up.
If you’re Tennessee, obviously you have to be pleased with how well your defense played. On the other side, your offense did better than expected, but you have to be frustrated with the quarterback play. As mentioned above, average quarterback play gives them a real chance in this game. Of course, they had no one on the sidelines that could give them that so they really had no chance. I was especially confused by the complete lack of urgency when the Vols got the ball back with six minutes to go, down two scores. I understand that was the plan that got them there, but with six minutes left and down ten you have to be aggressive. If not, you’re absolutely going to lose, which they did. Perhaps some no-huddle, maybe a trick play or a shot down the field against single coverage should have been in order. Instead, they bled the clock down and it eventually ended with Crompton throwing a pick with two minutes left. Their strategy was great up until that drive.
As for Florida, I’d be a little worried on offense. They didn’t get much by way of their receivers and Tebow really felt some pressure from the Tennessee defense (three sacks), but at the same time they did hit up an SEC defense for 200 yards on the ground, which makes winning much easier. Defensively, they were a little shaky against a one-dimensional offense, but basically shut down the Tennessee run game at the right times and forced Crompton to throw. But by no means is this a terrifying defense. Florida is still a really good team and will be extremely hard to beat, but Tennessee showed it may not be as difficult as previously thought.
One final note, I thoroughly enjoyed the opening shot of Ed Orgeron trying to get the team fired up in the tunnel before they took the field. It brought back some memories of lambs being led to the slaughter.
LSU 31, Directional School 3
Interesting note that I heard on ESPN is that in the history of the games between these schools, Louisiana-Lafayette has never scored a touchdown.
Mississippi State 15, Vanderbilt 3
Only Dan Mullen’s bounce back kept me from a perfect week in the picks. I watched for maybe 10 or fifteen minutes and all I saw was a trainwreck of offensive incompetence, led by Vandy’s revamped offense. Give credit to State’s defense for not giving up any big plays and keeping a crappy offense in neutral. They did what any decent defense should do to a bad offense. And in all seriousness, if State got to four wins, I’d be very impressed.
South Carolina 38, Oceanic Directional School 16
In addition to the list of diseases above that I’m currently battling, I’m now dealing with nausea and probably an ulcer all because of Ole Miss’ Thursday night game against South Carolina. Remember all those diseases that people in your wagon party used to get in Oregon Trail? I’ll probably have all of those by then. I’m going to be an absolute wreck by the time Thursday gets here.
Ole Miss 52, Directional I-AA School 6
Typhoid, diphtheria, dysentery, measles, scabies, rabies, raging fever, lice. I’m pretty sure I’m already showing symptoms of at least three of those.
Georgia 52, Arkansas 41
Easily the most entertaining game of the weekend. Lots of offense and a pair of defenses that did their best to get out of the way of those carrying the ball. We knew Arkansas’ defense was bad, and they certainly upheld their reputation, and now we know that Georgia’s defense is officially horrible as well. They’ve given up 912 yards and 78 points in two conference games. Arkansas is on pace to break that level of terribleness, but right now Georgia is our leader in bad defense.
And thanks to that shoddy Arkansas defense, Joe Cox showed real quarterbacking skill, so much skill that I’m sure he often said to himself, “Wow, how did I do that?” If Georgia can keep up the receiving combination of A.J. Green and Michael Moore, there’s hope for their offense yet. We’ll find out more when they play LSU in two weeks.
As for Arkansas, if Ryan Mallett has time, he will destroy opposing defenses. Georgia was eventually able to cut down his time to throw and that was the end of the Arkansas offense. He was much better than I expected, some of that was due to Georgia’s defense, but I thought he played well considering there wasn’t much happening by way of the run. If Arkansas’ defense can show up to any games, this won’t be a fun team to play, despite the potential one-dimensional nature of this offense.
Auburn 41, West Virginia 30
Hey, guess who else’s defense stinks? The Tigers got rolled up for 500 yards and did so while generating six turnovers. I think West Virginia might have had an outside shot at 750 yards of offense had they not turned it over so much. The good news for Auburn is that their offense is not the spectacular disaster it was last year so their defense doesn’t have to be that good. Although if the defense continues this level of suckiness, they’ll need the USC offense circa 2005 to hold on to some wins. We’ll find out if this Auburn offense is for real when the go to Tennessee in two weeks. And I suppose if Jonathan Crompton lights them up for some significant yardage in that game, we’ll know that their defense is one of the worst in the country.
GAME I DIDN’T PICK BUT IT DESERVES MENTION HERE
Florida State 54, BYU 28
I mentioned during last week’s “call-in show” that I thought BYU had a strong to quite strong chance to beat FSU. What an idiot I am. I completely forgot about the Mississippi State team in 2000 that traveled to BYU and simply pummeled the Cougars without mercy, 44-28. They were 20 times faster and it often seemed like it was 15 on 11 because of their team speed and BYU’s lack thereof. In that 2000 game, State ran for 200 yards (FSU ran for 300+), created four turnovers (FSU created 5) and simply blew them away with speed. Now why I didn’t see FSU doing the same thing is beyond stupid. The lesson, per the usual, is that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Also, maybe Oklahoma really is bad.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches.)
Joe Cox, QB, Georgia
Abandoned and left for dead on the side of the road by most Georgia fans, Cox picked himself up, found his way to Fayetteville and turned in a great game against Arkansas. Granted, he was facing Arkansas’ non-existent defense, but 18 of 26 for 375 yards and five touchdowns is still pretty impressive. Sure he’ll probably come crashing back to earth, but at least for this week Joe Cox looked like he belonged in the SEC.
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play.)
Jonathan Crompton, QB, Tennessee
A fairly obvious pick and perhaps the one player who might win this award multiple times, but Crompton’s performance in Gainesville was 1,000% awful. 11 of 19 for 93 yards and two interceptions and he did that while playing in an offense that would have been declared conservative in 1949. Had Tennessee’s defense collapsed and forced the Vols to throw much more than they did, he could have made a run at six interceptions. Our loss more than anything.
JOHN VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
(Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him.)
Monte Kiffin, Defensive Coordinator, Tennessee
The most powerful offense in the SEC and its spread formations, Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and the smartest man in the entire world running the show was stacked up against Kiffin’s defense and for the most part, he held them in check. Yes, his defense did give up large chunks of rushing yards, but if not for their outstanding pass defense and pressure, Florida might have covered that 29-point spread.
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
Ole Miss at South Carolina
Gout!
Arkansas at Alabama
Let’s see this Arkansas offense against a real defense. I’m really looking forward to see what Saban has in store to slow the Hogs down and what Petrino will do to challenge Saban’s defense. Very interesting coaching matchup.
Anyway, I’m trying on a new pair of pants around here (and yes, they were from the Pants Store) so there’s a little more content below all the game recaps. So feel free to stick around and read that after you are reminded of all the ways your team did or did not disappoint you over the weekend.
GAME RECAPS
Kentucky 31, Louisville 27
If you live outside the state of Kentucky (with the exception of fans of these schools), there is literally zero appeal to this game. Kentucky football isn’t bringing anything glamorous to the table and the days of Louisville lighting up scoreboards and piling up yards are gone. So what we had left was two teams with bad defenses giving up points to mediocre offenses. Luckily, this game came on during the time when most people were getting ramped up for the Florida/Tennessee game and no one was really paying attention.
The only thing worth noting here was that Kentucky offensive coordinator Randy Sanders broke his arm when one of his players crashed into him as a play spilled into the sidelines. Tennessee fans would want you to believe he broke it while aggressively putting his hands around his throat while calling plays, but that would be incorrect.
Alabama 53, North Texas 7
Just never listen to me when it comes to point spreads. I know nothing.
Florida 23, Tennessee 13
It wasn’t the raging bloodbath that many were hoping for, and actually was a pretty boring game, but what America did get out of this was a blueprint on how to beat Florida. A patient, time-consuming ground game, mixed in with some play action and screens, and a defense that takes away deep plays, calls some great blitzes and puts the burden on the Florida rushing game to win. You really can’t put into words how well Tennessee’s defense played considering they weren’t getting much help from their offense. Of course, Tennessee played about as well as they could have played on defense (and arguably on offense given what they have at quarterback) and still lost. However, a team with a competent quarterback and offense in general can beat Florida, provided they get a defensive effort and game plan like the ones Tennessee put up.
If you’re Tennessee, obviously you have to be pleased with how well your defense played. On the other side, your offense did better than expected, but you have to be frustrated with the quarterback play. As mentioned above, average quarterback play gives them a real chance in this game. Of course, they had no one on the sidelines that could give them that so they really had no chance. I was especially confused by the complete lack of urgency when the Vols got the ball back with six minutes to go, down two scores. I understand that was the plan that got them there, but with six minutes left and down ten you have to be aggressive. If not, you’re absolutely going to lose, which they did. Perhaps some no-huddle, maybe a trick play or a shot down the field against single coverage should have been in order. Instead, they bled the clock down and it eventually ended with Crompton throwing a pick with two minutes left. Their strategy was great up until that drive.
As for Florida, I’d be a little worried on offense. They didn’t get much by way of their receivers and Tebow really felt some pressure from the Tennessee defense (three sacks), but at the same time they did hit up an SEC defense for 200 yards on the ground, which makes winning much easier. Defensively, they were a little shaky against a one-dimensional offense, but basically shut down the Tennessee run game at the right times and forced Crompton to throw. But by no means is this a terrifying defense. Florida is still a really good team and will be extremely hard to beat, but Tennessee showed it may not be as difficult as previously thought.
One final note, I thoroughly enjoyed the opening shot of Ed Orgeron trying to get the team fired up in the tunnel before they took the field. It brought back some memories of lambs being led to the slaughter.
LSU 31, Directional School 3
Interesting note that I heard on ESPN is that in the history of the games between these schools, Louisiana-Lafayette has never scored a touchdown.
Mississippi State 15, Vanderbilt 3
Only Dan Mullen’s bounce back kept me from a perfect week in the picks. I watched for maybe 10 or fifteen minutes and all I saw was a trainwreck of offensive incompetence, led by Vandy’s revamped offense. Give credit to State’s defense for not giving up any big plays and keeping a crappy offense in neutral. They did what any decent defense should do to a bad offense. And in all seriousness, if State got to four wins, I’d be very impressed.
South Carolina 38, Oceanic Directional School 16
In addition to the list of diseases above that I’m currently battling, I’m now dealing with nausea and probably an ulcer all because of Ole Miss’ Thursday night game against South Carolina. Remember all those diseases that people in your wagon party used to get in Oregon Trail? I’ll probably have all of those by then. I’m going to be an absolute wreck by the time Thursday gets here.
Ole Miss 52, Directional I-AA School 6
Typhoid, diphtheria, dysentery, measles, scabies, rabies, raging fever, lice. I’m pretty sure I’m already showing symptoms of at least three of those.
Georgia 52, Arkansas 41
Easily the most entertaining game of the weekend. Lots of offense and a pair of defenses that did their best to get out of the way of those carrying the ball. We knew Arkansas’ defense was bad, and they certainly upheld their reputation, and now we know that Georgia’s defense is officially horrible as well. They’ve given up 912 yards and 78 points in two conference games. Arkansas is on pace to break that level of terribleness, but right now Georgia is our leader in bad defense.
And thanks to that shoddy Arkansas defense, Joe Cox showed real quarterbacking skill, so much skill that I’m sure he often said to himself, “Wow, how did I do that?” If Georgia can keep up the receiving combination of A.J. Green and Michael Moore, there’s hope for their offense yet. We’ll find out more when they play LSU in two weeks.
As for Arkansas, if Ryan Mallett has time, he will destroy opposing defenses. Georgia was eventually able to cut down his time to throw and that was the end of the Arkansas offense. He was much better than I expected, some of that was due to Georgia’s defense, but I thought he played well considering there wasn’t much happening by way of the run. If Arkansas’ defense can show up to any games, this won’t be a fun team to play, despite the potential one-dimensional nature of this offense.
Auburn 41, West Virginia 30
Hey, guess who else’s defense stinks? The Tigers got rolled up for 500 yards and did so while generating six turnovers. I think West Virginia might have had an outside shot at 750 yards of offense had they not turned it over so much. The good news for Auburn is that their offense is not the spectacular disaster it was last year so their defense doesn’t have to be that good. Although if the defense continues this level of suckiness, they’ll need the USC offense circa 2005 to hold on to some wins. We’ll find out if this Auburn offense is for real when the go to Tennessee in two weeks. And I suppose if Jonathan Crompton lights them up for some significant yardage in that game, we’ll know that their defense is one of the worst in the country.
GAME I DIDN’T PICK BUT IT DESERVES MENTION HERE
Florida State 54, BYU 28
I mentioned during last week’s “call-in show” that I thought BYU had a strong to quite strong chance to beat FSU. What an idiot I am. I completely forgot about the Mississippi State team in 2000 that traveled to BYU and simply pummeled the Cougars without mercy, 44-28. They were 20 times faster and it often seemed like it was 15 on 11 because of their team speed and BYU’s lack thereof. In that 2000 game, State ran for 200 yards (FSU ran for 300+), created four turnovers (FSU created 5) and simply blew them away with speed. Now why I didn’t see FSU doing the same thing is beyond stupid. The lesson, per the usual, is that I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Also, maybe Oklahoma really is bad.
DEUCE MCALLISTER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who dominated with or without the help of his teammates and coaches.)
Joe Cox, QB, Georgia
Abandoned and left for dead on the side of the road by most Georgia fans, Cox picked himself up, found his way to Fayetteville and turned in a great game against Arkansas. Granted, he was facing Arkansas’ non-existent defense, but 18 of 26 for 375 yards and five touchdowns is still pretty impressive. Sure he’ll probably come crashing back to earth, but at least for this week Joe Cox looked like he belonged in the SEC.
ERIC OLIVER OF THE WEEK
(Given to the player who caused his team’s fans the highest degree of wailing and gnashing of teeth due to blown assignments and generally piss poor play.)
Jonathan Crompton, QB, Tennessee
A fairly obvious pick and perhaps the one player who might win this award multiple times, but Crompton’s performance in Gainesville was 1,000% awful. 11 of 19 for 93 yards and two interceptions and he did that while playing in an offense that would have been declared conservative in 1949. Had Tennessee’s defense collapsed and forced the Vols to throw much more than they did, he could have made a run at six interceptions. Our loss more than anything.
JOHN VAUGHT OF THE WEEK
(Given to the coach who dominated whatever task was in front of him.)
Monte Kiffin, Defensive Coordinator, Tennessee
The most powerful offense in the SEC and its spread formations, Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and the smartest man in the entire world running the show was stacked up against Kiffin’s defense and for the most part, he held them in check. Yes, his defense did give up large chunks of rushing yards, but if not for their outstanding pass defense and pressure, Florida might have covered that 29-point spread.
WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO THIS WEEK
Ole Miss at South Carolina
Gout!
Arkansas at Alabama
Let’s see this Arkansas offense against a real defense. I’m really looking forward to see what Saban has in store to slow the Hogs down and what Petrino will do to challenge Saban’s defense. Very interesting coaching matchup.
Friday, September 18, 2009
SEC Picks of Week 3
Made while having an airing of grievances with my fantasy football team…
Last week: 5-1
Season: 16-2 (.889)
Louisville at Kentucky
I’ll just go ahead and get it out of the way and tell you that I know nothing about this game. I’m pretty sure Louisville still stinks, although not as badly as they did, and Kentucky is Kentucky, although a more improved version of Kentucky. It’s hard to know much when the two teams have defeated Indiana State and Miami (OH). What I can tell you based in facts is that there was a time Rich Brooks could not beat Louisville, but in the last two years he has. This is a weird game. We should move on. Brooks and the Wildcats make it three straight over the Cardinals.
Directional School at Alabama
The good news for North Texas is that they’ve already equaled their win total (one) from last season. The bad news is that they may not have one total yard of offense on Saturday. Just kidding. But I’m serious. However, the line of North Texas (+38) looks nice only because Alabama’s offense isn’t that great and, even though I claimed there would be no gambling information mentioned here, the Tide is just 10-22-2 against the spread in their last 34 home games. And yes, I am aware that last sentence made me sound like a gambling degenerate.
But I do have a few questions about this game. One, I don’t know how much money North Texas is getting for making the trip to Tuscaloosa (I’m assuming in the $1 million range), but what percentage of their athletic budget is made up of that money? 10%? 20%? 58%? Someone with research ability needs to find out. Two, how long could Nick Saban’s annual salary (roughly $4 million) fund the North Texas athletic department? 6 months? 6 years? And finally, I don’t really know where I was going with any of this. Just trying to make conversation.
Tennessee at Florida
The day of reckoning has arrived for Lane Kiffin, who spent a good chunk of the offseason yammering about singing Rocky Top in the Swamp after a Tennessee win, accusing Urban Meyer of a recruiting violation and removing all humility from his soul. In other words, he spent it poking a sleeping Kodiak bear who, in addition to razor sharp claws and teeth, is also armed with Tomahawk missiles, an arsenal of F5 tornados and a fire-breathing, giant dragon. And that’s just on offense.
Did no one tell Kiffin that his best returning quarterback was Jonathan Crompton? Surely he knew, right? I mean, you wouldn’t run around saying all the stuff he said if he knew unless HE IS COMPLETELY IN OVER HIS HEAD. I said the Lane Kiffin era was going to be a spectacular train wreck and so far it’s right on pace. Unfortunately, it really does look like it’s headed to an end midway through the 2010 season as predicted.
And this just in to Belly of the Beast. It’s a reenactment of a phone call placed earlier today by Florida coach Urban Meyer to Lane Kiffin. Meyer is played by Tom Cruise and Kiffin by an unknown and possibly uncredited Asian actor. And Matthew McConaughey represents the media and its unhealthy man-lust for Urban Meyer.
(LANGAUGE WARNING)
Well then, I’ll take Florida.
Former Directional School at LSU
The second Sun Belt team of the week placed on the sacrificial altar for the SEC. And it will be 0-2 for the week.
Mississippi State at Vanderbilt
In all seriousness, State might not win another game. Their remaining schedule is a nightmare, made even worse if you’re not very good, which State isn’t. If they lose this game, I can absolutely see them finishing 1-11. If they win, maybe 3-9, more likely 2-10. Hard to believe that the third game of the year for State is a must-win if they want to avoid a totally embarrassing season, but it is. Unfortunately, as long as Tyson Lee and/or Chris Relf are prominently involved in the offense, I don’t think they’ll be able to beat any SEC team. SEC defenses are always some of the better ones in the country (right now, eight teams rank in the top 50 in total defense) and if your offense or the players running that offense stink, you’re not going anywhere. However, the good news for State fans (as if they care what I think) is that I do foresee them beating Middle Tennessee State later this year.
Oceanic Directional School (I think it works) at South Carolina
Was Spurrier found face down in a drain pool last weekend? I hope someone picked him up.
Directional I-AA School at Ole Miss
What an exciting home opener. Here’s a list of all the SEC’s home openers:
Miami (OH) (Kentucky)
Jackson State (Mississippi State)
Western Kentucky (Tennessee)
Charleston Southern (Florida)
Louisiana Tech (Auburn)
Missouri State (Arkansas)
Western Carolina (Vanderbilt)
Florida International (Alabama)
Vanderbilt (LSU)
South Carolina (Georgia)
Florida Atlantic (South Carolina)
Compelling and rich.
Georgia at Arkansas
Everyone is all on board with an Arkansas win here and I’m not sure it’s going to be that simple. Yes, Georgia’s defense appears to suck. Yes, Georgia’s offense appears to suck. And yes, this is the third straight highly competitive game for Georgia. But, let’s look at Arkansas. If you recall, their defense was awful last year, and because they haven’t played anyone yet we don’t know what they’ve got there. Two, we don’t know what Ryan Mallett brings to the table when not playing in Big Ten games (his state line from Michigan: 61 of 141 (43.3%), 892 yds, 7 TD, 5 INT). And three, did I mention how bad Arkansas was on defense last year?
Now, Arkansas may come out in this game and blow Georgia away and answer all of my questions and doubts I have about them. But, until I see some proof, and Missouri State is not proof, I’m not fully buying into the hype surrounding an Arkansas transformation. I’m taking Georgia here and when Arkansas hangs 50 on them, please be sure to remind me of my stupidity on Monday.
West Virginia at Auburn
I just realized there’s a pretty good chance Auburn could start out the year 5-0, which would double Gene Chizik’s career win total coming into this season. In the next two weeks, they play Ball State and Tennessee, one of which is a certain win and the other could be called a probable win. I know nothing of West Virginia other than moonshine, crystal meth and no black people live in that state (except those on the UWV sports teams), but I am quite certain their football team is going to be thrashed on Saturday.
Last week: 5-1
Season: 16-2 (.889)
Louisville at Kentucky
I’ll just go ahead and get it out of the way and tell you that I know nothing about this game. I’m pretty sure Louisville still stinks, although not as badly as they did, and Kentucky is Kentucky, although a more improved version of Kentucky. It’s hard to know much when the two teams have defeated Indiana State and Miami (OH). What I can tell you based in facts is that there was a time Rich Brooks could not beat Louisville, but in the last two years he has. This is a weird game. We should move on. Brooks and the Wildcats make it three straight over the Cardinals.
Directional School at Alabama
The good news for North Texas is that they’ve already equaled their win total (one) from last season. The bad news is that they may not have one total yard of offense on Saturday. Just kidding. But I’m serious. However, the line of North Texas (+38) looks nice only because Alabama’s offense isn’t that great and, even though I claimed there would be no gambling information mentioned here, the Tide is just 10-22-2 against the spread in their last 34 home games. And yes, I am aware that last sentence made me sound like a gambling degenerate.
But I do have a few questions about this game. One, I don’t know how much money North Texas is getting for making the trip to Tuscaloosa (I’m assuming in the $1 million range), but what percentage of their athletic budget is made up of that money? 10%? 20%? 58%? Someone with research ability needs to find out. Two, how long could Nick Saban’s annual salary (roughly $4 million) fund the North Texas athletic department? 6 months? 6 years? And finally, I don’t really know where I was going with any of this. Just trying to make conversation.
Tennessee at Florida
The day of reckoning has arrived for Lane Kiffin, who spent a good chunk of the offseason yammering about singing Rocky Top in the Swamp after a Tennessee win, accusing Urban Meyer of a recruiting violation and removing all humility from his soul. In other words, he spent it poking a sleeping Kodiak bear who, in addition to razor sharp claws and teeth, is also armed with Tomahawk missiles, an arsenal of F5 tornados and a fire-breathing, giant dragon. And that’s just on offense.
Did no one tell Kiffin that his best returning quarterback was Jonathan Crompton? Surely he knew, right? I mean, you wouldn’t run around saying all the stuff he said if he knew unless HE IS COMPLETELY IN OVER HIS HEAD. I said the Lane Kiffin era was going to be a spectacular train wreck and so far it’s right on pace. Unfortunately, it really does look like it’s headed to an end midway through the 2010 season as predicted.
And this just in to Belly of the Beast. It’s a reenactment of a phone call placed earlier today by Florida coach Urban Meyer to Lane Kiffin. Meyer is played by Tom Cruise and Kiffin by an unknown and possibly uncredited Asian actor. And Matthew McConaughey represents the media and its unhealthy man-lust for Urban Meyer.
(LANGAUGE WARNING)
Well then, I’ll take Florida.
Former Directional School at LSU
The second Sun Belt team of the week placed on the sacrificial altar for the SEC. And it will be 0-2 for the week.
Mississippi State at Vanderbilt
In all seriousness, State might not win another game. Their remaining schedule is a nightmare, made even worse if you’re not very good, which State isn’t. If they lose this game, I can absolutely see them finishing 1-11. If they win, maybe 3-9, more likely 2-10. Hard to believe that the third game of the year for State is a must-win if they want to avoid a totally embarrassing season, but it is. Unfortunately, as long as Tyson Lee and/or Chris Relf are prominently involved in the offense, I don’t think they’ll be able to beat any SEC team. SEC defenses are always some of the better ones in the country (right now, eight teams rank in the top 50 in total defense) and if your offense or the players running that offense stink, you’re not going anywhere. However, the good news for State fans (as if they care what I think) is that I do foresee them beating Middle Tennessee State later this year.
Oceanic Directional School (I think it works) at South Carolina
Was Spurrier found face down in a drain pool last weekend? I hope someone picked him up.
Directional I-AA School at Ole Miss
What an exciting home opener. Here’s a list of all the SEC’s home openers:
Miami (OH) (Kentucky)
Jackson State (Mississippi State)
Western Kentucky (Tennessee)
Charleston Southern (Florida)
Louisiana Tech (Auburn)
Missouri State (Arkansas)
Western Carolina (Vanderbilt)
Florida International (Alabama)
Vanderbilt (LSU)
South Carolina (Georgia)
Florida Atlantic (South Carolina)
Compelling and rich.
Georgia at Arkansas
Everyone is all on board with an Arkansas win here and I’m not sure it’s going to be that simple. Yes, Georgia’s defense appears to suck. Yes, Georgia’s offense appears to suck. And yes, this is the third straight highly competitive game for Georgia. But, let’s look at Arkansas. If you recall, their defense was awful last year, and because they haven’t played anyone yet we don’t know what they’ve got there. Two, we don’t know what Ryan Mallett brings to the table when not playing in Big Ten games (his state line from Michigan: 61 of 141 (43.3%), 892 yds, 7 TD, 5 INT). And three, did I mention how bad Arkansas was on defense last year?
Now, Arkansas may come out in this game and blow Georgia away and answer all of my questions and doubts I have about them. But, until I see some proof, and Missouri State is not proof, I’m not fully buying into the hype surrounding an Arkansas transformation. I’m taking Georgia here and when Arkansas hangs 50 on them, please be sure to remind me of my stupidity on Monday.
West Virginia at Auburn
I just realized there’s a pretty good chance Auburn could start out the year 5-0, which would double Gene Chizik’s career win total coming into this season. In the next two weeks, they play Ball State and Tennessee, one of which is a certain win and the other could be called a probable win. I know nothing of West Virginia other than moonshine, crystal meth and no black people live in that state (except those on the UWV sports teams), but I am quite certain their football team is going to be thrashed on Saturday.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Belly of the Beast Call-In Show
A new feature here that will most likely meet the same fate as the Classic Conversation, Looking for a Midweek Pulse and several other of my ideas that ultimately bit the dust because of general apathy and sloth, but I like this idea so I’ll give it a try. Ideally, this would appear each Wednesday (being that today is Thursday we’re already off to a good start) to give you something to digest as you eagerly (perhaps a loose interpretation of the word, no?) await Friday’s preview of the weekend SEC games.
Anyway, the idea here is that if the Belly of the Beast had a call-in show, this is what it would be like. And although I tend to focus mostly on what goes on around the SEC, I take calls covering all schools and conferences. That is, if I had a telephone set up, which I don’t, an ability to broadcast said phone calls (nope) and people actually called, which they wouldn’t. On to our first caller…
Norm from Broken Arrow, OK: Are the Sooners totally screwed?
Gray: Yes Norm, they are. The teams you’d normally steamroll, Miami, Kansas, Nebraska and Oklahoma State, are suddenly not automatic wins. In fact, I’d be a little worried about Tulsa this weekend. Good offense, not great defense, but not awful. Sounds a little like BYU doesn’t it? And why did you get your hopes up for this season when you knew your offensive line was totally new? Had Bradford survived the BYU game, the line would have eventually bitten you square in the ass.
Next caller…
Gavin from Provo, UT: What are BYU’s chances this weekend?
Gray: I’d say strong to quite strong. Look, FSU’s pass defense is awful. Awful. In fact, their defense in general may not be very good. They love to keep blitzing and play very aggressive even when they don’t have the players to play that type of defense. Hence giving up 30-something points to Miami. Yes, Florida State will be faster and have more athletes than currently live in the entire state of Utah (20% of which play for the Jazz), but BYU showed they could play with that type of athleticism when they beat Oklahoma. Plus, the Cougars are fielding a team made up of 24 to 35 year olds, which will give them a physical and mental advantage.
Who’s next…
Brent from Columbus, OH: Why?!?!? The pain!!! It’s a deep burn!!! I’ve burned all of my Walmart jerseys and even my precious Starter jacket!!! Help!!!
Gray: I guess that’s an actual question so I’ll take a shot. First, get used to it, or stop playing teams that reside outside of the stretch of land from Minnesota to Pennsylvania. Second, start questioning your head coach. I mentioned it in brief fashion here, but Chris at smartfootball.com breaks it down in far greater (and better) details here. Jim Tressell specializes in being spectacularly outcoached. And finally, petition national media members to stop ranking you so high in preseason polls. That way, when you lose a game you should win or are demolished by a far superior team, the pain will be more of a dull ache.
Moving on…
Bobby Dan from Alabama: Hello? Hello?
Gray: Yes, go ahead.
Bobby Dan: Yeah, uh, you was talkin’ to the feller from Oklahoma about the offensive line and I had a question.
Gray: Okay, what is your question?
Bobby Dan: My question is, so, if Oklahoma’s line is new and that got that quarterback hurt, what does this mean for Alabama’s offensive line? Thanks, and I’ll just hang up and listen.
Gray: Okay, sure. Thanks, Bobby Dan. And let me be the first to congratulate you on being the first Alabama fan to ever question that something might be wrong with the Crimson Tide. I’ve never heard that before. As for your question, I’d be a little worried about three of the five spots being filled by guys who didn’t play last year. I’m not saying they’re going to make a colossal mistake and that lead to your quarterback being injured, but new offensive lines are not good things to have when conference play starts.
Next caller…
Ricky from Alabama: HORSESHIT!!!
Gray: Ah, Ricky. I can’t wait to see video of you after a game in which Alabama loses. I’ll probably watch it at least 25 times.
A couple more and we’ll mercifully wrap this up…
Larry from Muscle Shoals, AL: Yeah, couldn’t you say the same thing about Ole Miss’ offensive line?
Gray: Indeed you can, Larry. While not overly impressive in the Memphis game, they didn’t make any killer mistakes, but it’s also Memphis. What makes me a little less worried about Ole Miss’ line is that Daverin Geralds, the center, returns after a full season at the position in which he was outstanding down the stretch last year. He’s responsible for the offensive line and knows what he’s doing, plus has a little more experience around him than what Alabama has. Now, the two new linemen, the left tackle and right guard (I’d name names here but nobody would know who the hell I was talking about) could be completely overwhelmed against South Carolina and blow this theory to hell. We’ll talk next Friday after we see what happens.
Last one…
Lou from Bristol, CT: My friend Beano and I are having a kegger at the house on Saturday. All are welcome, but if you want liquor it’s on you. And don’t tell Mark May.
Gray: Lou, what happened to your lisp?
Lou: Ha! You think I really talk like sthissss? It’s all made up. The more absurd I sound, the more people watch our show and the closer I get back to coaching. I tell ya….wait….Beano, for the love of all things holy put your shirt back on. And cover up that gobbler you call a neck.
Gray: Alright, Lou, we’ve got to run. Until next time.
Anyway, the idea here is that if the Belly of the Beast had a call-in show, this is what it would be like. And although I tend to focus mostly on what goes on around the SEC, I take calls covering all schools and conferences. That is, if I had a telephone set up, which I don’t, an ability to broadcast said phone calls (nope) and people actually called, which they wouldn’t. On to our first caller…
Norm from Broken Arrow, OK: Are the Sooners totally screwed?
Gray: Yes Norm, they are. The teams you’d normally steamroll, Miami, Kansas, Nebraska and Oklahoma State, are suddenly not automatic wins. In fact, I’d be a little worried about Tulsa this weekend. Good offense, not great defense, but not awful. Sounds a little like BYU doesn’t it? And why did you get your hopes up for this season when you knew your offensive line was totally new? Had Bradford survived the BYU game, the line would have eventually bitten you square in the ass.
Next caller…
Gavin from Provo, UT: What are BYU’s chances this weekend?
Gray: I’d say strong to quite strong. Look, FSU’s pass defense is awful. Awful. In fact, their defense in general may not be very good. They love to keep blitzing and play very aggressive even when they don’t have the players to play that type of defense. Hence giving up 30-something points to Miami. Yes, Florida State will be faster and have more athletes than currently live in the entire state of Utah (20% of which play for the Jazz), but BYU showed they could play with that type of athleticism when they beat Oklahoma. Plus, the Cougars are fielding a team made up of 24 to 35 year olds, which will give them a physical and mental advantage.
Who’s next…
Brent from Columbus, OH: Why?!?!? The pain!!! It’s a deep burn!!! I’ve burned all of my Walmart jerseys and even my precious Starter jacket!!! Help!!!
Gray: I guess that’s an actual question so I’ll take a shot. First, get used to it, or stop playing teams that reside outside of the stretch of land from Minnesota to Pennsylvania. Second, start questioning your head coach. I mentioned it in brief fashion here, but Chris at smartfootball.com breaks it down in far greater (and better) details here. Jim Tressell specializes in being spectacularly outcoached. And finally, petition national media members to stop ranking you so high in preseason polls. That way, when you lose a game you should win or are demolished by a far superior team, the pain will be more of a dull ache.
Moving on…
Bobby Dan from Alabama: Hello? Hello?
Gray: Yes, go ahead.
Bobby Dan: Yeah, uh, you was talkin’ to the feller from Oklahoma about the offensive line and I had a question.
Gray: Okay, what is your question?
Bobby Dan: My question is, so, if Oklahoma’s line is new and that got that quarterback hurt, what does this mean for Alabama’s offensive line? Thanks, and I’ll just hang up and listen.
Gray: Okay, sure. Thanks, Bobby Dan. And let me be the first to congratulate you on being the first Alabama fan to ever question that something might be wrong with the Crimson Tide. I’ve never heard that before. As for your question, I’d be a little worried about three of the five spots being filled by guys who didn’t play last year. I’m not saying they’re going to make a colossal mistake and that lead to your quarterback being injured, but new offensive lines are not good things to have when conference play starts.
Next caller…
Ricky from Alabama: HORSESHIT!!!
Gray: Ah, Ricky. I can’t wait to see video of you after a game in which Alabama loses. I’ll probably watch it at least 25 times.
A couple more and we’ll mercifully wrap this up…
Larry from Muscle Shoals, AL: Yeah, couldn’t you say the same thing about Ole Miss’ offensive line?
Gray: Indeed you can, Larry. While not overly impressive in the Memphis game, they didn’t make any killer mistakes, but it’s also Memphis. What makes me a little less worried about Ole Miss’ line is that Daverin Geralds, the center, returns after a full season at the position in which he was outstanding down the stretch last year. He’s responsible for the offensive line and knows what he’s doing, plus has a little more experience around him than what Alabama has. Now, the two new linemen, the left tackle and right guard (I’d name names here but nobody would know who the hell I was talking about) could be completely overwhelmed against South Carolina and blow this theory to hell. We’ll talk next Friday after we see what happens.
Last one…
Lou from Bristol, CT: My friend Beano and I are having a kegger at the house on Saturday. All are welcome, but if you want liquor it’s on you. And don’t tell Mark May.
Gray: Lou, what happened to your lisp?
Lou: Ha! You think I really talk like sthissss? It’s all made up. The more absurd I sound, the more people watch our show and the closer I get back to coaching. I tell ya….wait….Beano, for the love of all things holy put your shirt back on. And cover up that gobbler you call a neck.
Gray: Alright, Lou, we’ve got to run. Until next time.
Monday, September 14, 2009
From the Weekend That Was
With Ole Miss having an off week, I too took an off week of sorts and didn’t watch very much college football. I found it to be refreshing and non-emotionally damaging, which was nice. However, thanks to some outstanding scheduling by those in the Ole Miss athletic department, I’ll be locked in for the next 11 weeks and can promise much more insightful and stinging reviews of our football teams and all the ways they find to disappoint us. So without seeing much more than highlights for each game, here was the week in the SEC.
Florida 56, Troy 6
Note to self: Always pick Florida to cover. Always. Any other idea you may have is stupid.
One of the games I did get to watch a good chunk of was the USC/Ohio State game, which was a contest of some bad offenses. I’m not really sure why anyone even talked like this would be the game that Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor finally arrived as one of the big time players in college football. Anyone who has watched Pryor play quarterback should have known he wasn’t going to play well because he’s not a good quarterback. Outstanding athlete, yes, quarterback, no. Watching him try to pass and read coverages is just painful. It sort of reminds me of the illustrious Brent Schaeffer era at Ole Miss (for the record I think Pryor is a better athlete). Schaeffer was forced into a pro-style offense that wasn’t suited for his talents and when he did play, played poorly. And it didn’t help the coaching he received could best be described as poor.
Now, if you remember the last two games of his last year at Ole Miss, the Rebels finally started running a form of the spread/run option offense that really cut down on his having to read defenses and allowed him to use his athletic ability. That offense ripped LSU up for 400+ yards of total offense (even though LSU kicked the crap out of Ole Miss) and was highly successful the next week against Mississippi State until Ed Orgeron decided to play super conservative until the infamous fourth and one play in which he needed to be super conservative and wasn’t.
Pryor has better coaching (at least I think he does) and more talent around him on both sides of the ball than Schaeffer had at Ole Miss, so why not run an offense that plays to his athletic strengths? He’s faster and sometimes bigger than the linebackers chasing him, has a pretty strong arm and has great natural strength. If used properly, he would be a nightmare match up for defensive coordinators. Lining him up under center or using that stupid fake draw pass play out of shotgun is what opposing defenses want to see from Ohio State.
And Ohio State should take heart, this is the second game in a row versus a top-ranked BCS school in which they were not blown out of the building. Luckily for them, the rest of their season is filled with Big 10 teams, Toledo and New Mexico State. So look for them in the Fiesta Bowl.
And as for USC, let’s put an end to all these cries of the next great one for quarterback Matt Barkley. It was obvious that for most of the game the USC coaches were terrified of letting him take any sort of chances downfield. I thought he played well given the conservative nature of USC’s game plan and play calling, but I think we should all see a little more before we declare him the next great quarterback in college football.
UCLA 19, Tennessee 15
I blacked out, what happened? Were we just taking at length about Ohio State? Not sure what happened there. Anyway, welcome back to reality Lane Kiffin. Life sure was easy against the Western Kentucky’s of the world.
Remember all that talk about the new and improved Jonathan Crompton? Well, that was just silly. He still stinks. I thought Tennessee played this game much like they should play every game. Rely on their defense, run the ball and hope your quarterback can make a handful of good throws. Unfortunately for them, running the ball is much harder against teams with a degree of talent who also know you can’t throw the ball.
And make no mistake about it, this UCLA team is not very good at all. They were 4-8 last year and I saw nothing that indicated they were going to be much better than that this year, much like Tennessee. But the good news for Tennessee fans is that their defense appears to be a pretty good one, which should prevent Florida from scoring 70 this week.
Alabama 40, Florida International 14
It should be noted that Alabama has now surrendered 65 total rushing yards on the season. 64 of those came against Virginia Tech.
LSU 23, Vanderbilt 9
It appears the cure for LSU’s defense was the Vanderbilt offense and some rain. Everything I read about this game noted that the rain really slowed both teams down, LSU more than Vandy. Not much to say here other than LSU played well enough to win and deserved to win. I’m really looking forward to their game at Georgia on October 3rd. They’re better than Georgia right now, but I want to see what happens when they play a team that is in the neighborhood of their skill level because then we’ll have a real understanding of this LSU team.
Georgia 41, South Carolina 37
So not only does Georgia’s offense stink their defense does too. 427 yards to a Stephen Garcia led offense? And he even threw 53 times, which should always mean good things for opposing defenses. This is the one game of the weekend I wished I had been able to see because looking at the box score I have no idea how South Carolina lost. Georgia had fewer yards, more penalties and had the ball for nine fewer minutes. Someone go check to see if Steve Spurrier has finished vomiting yet.
Auburn 49, Mississippi State 24
Speaking of bad offenses and defenses, it’s Mississippi State. We all know State’s offense is bad, but to give up 390 yards rushing to a team that can’t throw the ball is awful. If this poor run defense turns into a trend for State and with the schedule they have, a 2-10 season is a serious possibility.
And my apologies for labeling this game a bloodbath of punts. I should have called it a bloodbath of Auburn first downs.
Florida 56, Troy 6
Note to self: Always pick Florida to cover. Always. Any other idea you may have is stupid.
One of the games I did get to watch a good chunk of was the USC/Ohio State game, which was a contest of some bad offenses. I’m not really sure why anyone even talked like this would be the game that Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor finally arrived as one of the big time players in college football. Anyone who has watched Pryor play quarterback should have known he wasn’t going to play well because he’s not a good quarterback. Outstanding athlete, yes, quarterback, no. Watching him try to pass and read coverages is just painful. It sort of reminds me of the illustrious Brent Schaeffer era at Ole Miss (for the record I think Pryor is a better athlete). Schaeffer was forced into a pro-style offense that wasn’t suited for his talents and when he did play, played poorly. And it didn’t help the coaching he received could best be described as poor.
Now, if you remember the last two games of his last year at Ole Miss, the Rebels finally started running a form of the spread/run option offense that really cut down on his having to read defenses and allowed him to use his athletic ability. That offense ripped LSU up for 400+ yards of total offense (even though LSU kicked the crap out of Ole Miss) and was highly successful the next week against Mississippi State until Ed Orgeron decided to play super conservative until the infamous fourth and one play in which he needed to be super conservative and wasn’t.
Pryor has better coaching (at least I think he does) and more talent around him on both sides of the ball than Schaeffer had at Ole Miss, so why not run an offense that plays to his athletic strengths? He’s faster and sometimes bigger than the linebackers chasing him, has a pretty strong arm and has great natural strength. If used properly, he would be a nightmare match up for defensive coordinators. Lining him up under center or using that stupid fake draw pass play out of shotgun is what opposing defenses want to see from Ohio State.
And Ohio State should take heart, this is the second game in a row versus a top-ranked BCS school in which they were not blown out of the building. Luckily for them, the rest of their season is filled with Big 10 teams, Toledo and New Mexico State. So look for them in the Fiesta Bowl.
And as for USC, let’s put an end to all these cries of the next great one for quarterback Matt Barkley. It was obvious that for most of the game the USC coaches were terrified of letting him take any sort of chances downfield. I thought he played well given the conservative nature of USC’s game plan and play calling, but I think we should all see a little more before we declare him the next great quarterback in college football.
UCLA 19, Tennessee 15
I blacked out, what happened? Were we just taking at length about Ohio State? Not sure what happened there. Anyway, welcome back to reality Lane Kiffin. Life sure was easy against the Western Kentucky’s of the world.
Remember all that talk about the new and improved Jonathan Crompton? Well, that was just silly. He still stinks. I thought Tennessee played this game much like they should play every game. Rely on their defense, run the ball and hope your quarterback can make a handful of good throws. Unfortunately for them, running the ball is much harder against teams with a degree of talent who also know you can’t throw the ball.
And make no mistake about it, this UCLA team is not very good at all. They were 4-8 last year and I saw nothing that indicated they were going to be much better than that this year, much like Tennessee. But the good news for Tennessee fans is that their defense appears to be a pretty good one, which should prevent Florida from scoring 70 this week.
Alabama 40, Florida International 14
It should be noted that Alabama has now surrendered 65 total rushing yards on the season. 64 of those came against Virginia Tech.
LSU 23, Vanderbilt 9
It appears the cure for LSU’s defense was the Vanderbilt offense and some rain. Everything I read about this game noted that the rain really slowed both teams down, LSU more than Vandy. Not much to say here other than LSU played well enough to win and deserved to win. I’m really looking forward to their game at Georgia on October 3rd. They’re better than Georgia right now, but I want to see what happens when they play a team that is in the neighborhood of their skill level because then we’ll have a real understanding of this LSU team.
Georgia 41, South Carolina 37
So not only does Georgia’s offense stink their defense does too. 427 yards to a Stephen Garcia led offense? And he even threw 53 times, which should always mean good things for opposing defenses. This is the one game of the weekend I wished I had been able to see because looking at the box score I have no idea how South Carolina lost. Georgia had fewer yards, more penalties and had the ball for nine fewer minutes. Someone go check to see if Steve Spurrier has finished vomiting yet.
Auburn 49, Mississippi State 24
Speaking of bad offenses and defenses, it’s Mississippi State. We all know State’s offense is bad, but to give up 390 yards rushing to a team that can’t throw the ball is awful. If this poor run defense turns into a trend for State and with the schedule they have, a 2-10 season is a serious possibility.
And my apologies for labeling this game a bloodbath of punts. I should have called it a bloodbath of Auburn first downs.
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