Made while watching Ricky the Alabama fan shatter the YouTube record for comedy. Even Kige Ramsey’s awkwardness and unintentional comedy can’t touch this.
(LANGUAGE WARNING)
Let’s see what we have here.
Redneck? Check.
Racist? Check.
Anger Issues? Check.
Wearing large amounts of Alabama flair in home? Check.
Limited vocabulary? Check.
Belief that Alabama can do no wrong? Check.
Women cursing in the background? Check.
And I thought there would never be anyone that could top Cowboy.
Last week: 11-1
Season: 11-1 (.916)
Troy at Florida
I’m only vaguely interested in this game for reasons involving point spreads. There’s no doubt Florida will conduct a wholesale slaughter of the Trojans, but I want to see what Troy has on offense. If you recall the last few seasons, Troy has had some outstanding offenses and because of this, was a covering machine. In fact, I want to say two seasons ago they were something like 11-1 against the spread, which is cash money in your pocket (if gambling were a legitimate enterprise looked favorably upon by the NCAA). If the Trojans put up some points, I’d keep an eye out when they run into the Sun Belt teams.
UCLA at Tennessee
Question: How does one lose a game when the opposing quarterback throws four interceptions? Simple. You elect to throw 41 time with your below average quarterback and ignore your two running backs who would end the game AVERAGING 7.4 and 5.5 yards per carry. That’s what Phil Fulmer allowed offensive coordinator Dave Clawson to do in last year’s 27-24 overtime loss to UCLA. Now, both those guys are no longer employed by the University of Tennessee (although they are still receiving handsome paychecks from Tennessee).
As poorly as I think of Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron, I don’t think those mistakes will be made again. Last week against a hapless directional school, Jonathan Crompton, the player some Tennessee fans wanted to kill (literally), was only allowed to throw 28 times. If he’s allowed to top that (barring turnovers and Tennessee falls behind), Kiffin may find himself in the unemployment line much faster than I predicted. The Vols win an ugly, ugly game.
Florida International at Alabama
God help Ricky’s family if FIU jumps out to an early 3-0 lead. He’ll probably burn the house down with them inside. Then, after he steals a map from a local convenience store, he’ll find his way to Tuscaloosa and blow the brains out of the referee who missed a holding call on FIU’s scoring drive. Good times.
Vanderbilt at LSU
The revamped, no-huddle Vanderbilt offense exploded last week for over 600 yards of offense against what had to be an awful Western Carolina team. The revamped, well-coached LSU defense gave up 478 yards to a team that had one player (the quarterback) and won zero games last year. This could turn into an interesting game if Vanderbilt can keep from committing the soul-crushing turnovers they so often have against every team in the SEC but Ole Miss (in their last two wins over Ole Miss, Vandy is +4 in turnover ratio). I find it hard to believe Vandy could go to LSU and win, but I foresee things getting a little shaky for LSU before the Tigers go on to win.
South Carolina at Georgia
Steve Spurrier said earlier this week that he plans on being a little more aggressive on offense than he was against NC State. This, of course, means that Stephen Garcia will be given more opportunities to make bad decisions that might cost his team the game, which will in turn lead to him possibly doing something really dumb off the field. We all win in this scenario. Who isn’t ready to see him take his property crimes to the next level?
As for the actual game, I think Georgia could be in some serious trouble, not just this weekend, but for the rest of the season. Take a look at this. Even Mark Richt senses something is amiss. And Joe Cox, doesn’t care about his critics, but does care enough to address them and pull out the old “they’ve never played a down of football in their lives” argument, which always goes over well. A crappy performance this weekend and you’ll be able to feel the fan’s sense of impending doom in the stadium, even if Georgia wins.
I’d love to take South Carolina here, but then I remember their game last Thursday night. And I cannot in good conscience select Stephen Garcia to win on the road. Georgia wins and challenges Tennessee for the ugliest win of the weekend.
Mississippi State at Auburn
From the few moments of the Auburn game I saw last last weekend, they appear to have a much more competent offense than whatever it was they had last year. Of course, they were playing Louisiana Tech, which probably helped. The same goes for Mississippi State. A much better offensive showing, but it was Jackson State, who I’ve now had three separate people tell me was “the worst team I’ve ever seen.”
I think we’ll see yet another defensive orgy, which will take place not because of outstanding defensive play, but because mediocre offenses will run into stronger defenses. And because I think Auburn’s offense is a little stronger than State’s, which I think is pretty bad, Auburn should come out of this bloodbath of punts victorious.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
From the Long Weekend That Was
South Carolina 7, NC State 3
Much like my suggested rule that Ohio State never be ranked again or receive media attention for slapping around the smaller schools of Ohio, my idea that South Carolina or NC State never be allowed to open the college football season again will most likely be ignored. Although it shouldn’t, since I’m right. South Carolina has given us such greats as this year’s win, last year’s 34-0 game which was equally as boring and who can forget the exciting 15-0 win over Mississippi State just three years ago. It’s time for this business to stop.
And, holy crap, NC State is just awful. If you’re scoring at home, which may be difficult for NC State fans since they have no examples provided by their football team, that’s three points in two years on season-opening Thursday night games.
Kentucky 42, Miami (OH) 0
Do you think that when Miami Hurricane fans are watching the bottom line scores come across on ESPN they are temporarily terrified of the result they see until the OH appears? I think I would.
Tennessee 63, Directional School 7
After the destruction of a Sun Belt school, Lane Kiffin still isn’t letting up. According to his Twitter account, today is COMPETITION TUESDAY!!! (Note: This is not to be confused with David Cutcliffe’s “Get Better Monday.” And I have a feeling that after his Blue Devils’ loss to I-AA Richmond, he’ll be ordering a “Code Blue” on Wednesday.) If you’re familiar with Ed Orgeron’s body of work, that statement reeks, I mean REEKS of Ed Orgeron. Let’s see how fresh the Vols are in week eight or nine when they’re still going 200 miles an hour three days a week. The more influence he has, the more enjoyable the Kiffin era’s fall will become.
Oklahoma State 24, Georgia 10
If Georgia has a quarterback and the officials elected to referee this game as a football game and not a touch football game, perhaps the Bulldogs would have been in a position to win. For those who may have missed it, Oklahoma State’s last touchdown came on a drive that was kept alive by an unnecessary roughness penalty on a Georgia defensive back after he destroyed a Cowboy wide receiver who was trying to catch a pass. When he was hit, the receiver still had a hand on the ball. Violent hit? Yes. A penalty? Only at the YMCA.
As the Sean McDonough, the announcer, said, “If you’re going to throw a flag for every hit that looks bad, you might as well play flag football.” Well said, sir. Of course, if Joe Cox weren’t absolutely horrible, it wouldn’t have mattered.
Mississippi State 45, Jackson State 7
According to a friend who was there, “Jackson State is the worst football team I’ve ever seen.” For the purpose of fantastic comedy, I would have loved to see how Sylvester Croom would have fared in this one. State still would have won, but it would have been along the lines of 24-7 and disgustingly ugly.
And my apologies to Dan Mullen (as if he cares) for besmirching him based on the idea that Anthony Dixon would play. I will also refrain from writing the backhanded compliment I had ready to go. But know that I did have one.
Arkansas 48, Missouri State 10
HOUSTON NUTT WOULD NEVER HAVE SCORED 48 ON MISSOURI STATE!!!
Auburn 37, Louisiana Tech 13
Chizik is now four wins away from double digits in career victories after 25 games as a head coach.
Florida 62, Charleston Southern 3
If you’re curious, the Charleston Southern nickname is the Buccaneers. So file that one away.
Vanderbilt 45, Western Carolina 0
Two of the country’s worst offenses last year, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt, combine to score 90 points. By comparison, it took Vandy two games last season to reach the 45-point mark, and through its first four games of 2008, Mississippi State had a total of 57 points scored.
Alabama 34, Virginia Tech 24
Hey, guess what? Tyrod Taylor is awful, just like every Virginia Tech quarterback since Michael Vick. Who saw that coming? The Hokies are another team that should never be ranked in the top ten before the season ever again. If Alabama had a stronger quarterback and decent special teams play, they win this game by at least 21. And when Virginia Tech is winning the Orange Bowl in January, just be sure to remember they stink.
As for the debut of Greg McElroy, color me unimpressed. Granted, he was going against a solid defense and was still able to help crank out almost 500 yards of total offense, but I never saw anything that made me think he’s going to be much better than he is right now. He’ll improve, but not by much. And I think we’ll also see Alabama be little more risky or aggressive on offense thanks to complete confidence in a really good defense. A defense like theirs will help control whatever mistakes are made on offense.
LSU 31, Washington 23
Speaking of unimpressed, here’s LSU. The defense that was supposed to be totally revamped now that all of that talent was being properly coached gave up 478 yards of offense to a team that was 0-12 last year. Jordan Jefferson? Blah. Maybe it was the trip to the West Coast, but LSU doesn’t look the part of a team that could make a run at Atlanta.
Ole Miss 45, Memphis 14
The day I am remotely upset with a 45-14 win, please shoot me in the face (and don’t miss). Yeah, it was a little frustrating watching Jevan Snead crap the bed for a little over three quarters, but I never got the sense we were in danger of losing the game. The defense picked up where it left off last year, really shutting down the Memphis offense. Other than the fourth quarter touchdown drive and the drive where Memphis missed a field goal, they really had no consistency. The defensive line got stronger as the game went on, especially Jerrell Powe, and the secondary has made a transformation to a group of guys I don’t even recognize. Shit talking, aggressive AND they put points on the board with Fon Ingram’s interception return for a touchdown. The last time we saw something like this was in the Billy Brewer era.
Other than Snead’s early struggles, it’s hard to really criticize much. The play calling was extremely basic so there’s not much to pick apart on offense. I thought the offense line played well at times, not so much at others, but for the first game, I’ll take it. Snead was not murdered by a vicious hit so that’s a victory in my book. I think we’ll see much more two weeks from now when they travel to Columbia.
Much like my suggested rule that Ohio State never be ranked again or receive media attention for slapping around the smaller schools of Ohio, my idea that South Carolina or NC State never be allowed to open the college football season again will most likely be ignored. Although it shouldn’t, since I’m right. South Carolina has given us such greats as this year’s win, last year’s 34-0 game which was equally as boring and who can forget the exciting 15-0 win over Mississippi State just three years ago. It’s time for this business to stop.
And, holy crap, NC State is just awful. If you’re scoring at home, which may be difficult for NC State fans since they have no examples provided by their football team, that’s three points in two years on season-opening Thursday night games.
Kentucky 42, Miami (OH) 0
Do you think that when Miami Hurricane fans are watching the bottom line scores come across on ESPN they are temporarily terrified of the result they see until the OH appears? I think I would.
Tennessee 63, Directional School 7
After the destruction of a Sun Belt school, Lane Kiffin still isn’t letting up. According to his Twitter account, today is COMPETITION TUESDAY!!! (Note: This is not to be confused with David Cutcliffe’s “Get Better Monday.” And I have a feeling that after his Blue Devils’ loss to I-AA Richmond, he’ll be ordering a “Code Blue” on Wednesday.) If you’re familiar with Ed Orgeron’s body of work, that statement reeks, I mean REEKS of Ed Orgeron. Let’s see how fresh the Vols are in week eight or nine when they’re still going 200 miles an hour three days a week. The more influence he has, the more enjoyable the Kiffin era’s fall will become.
Oklahoma State 24, Georgia 10
If Georgia has a quarterback and the officials elected to referee this game as a football game and not a touch football game, perhaps the Bulldogs would have been in a position to win. For those who may have missed it, Oklahoma State’s last touchdown came on a drive that was kept alive by an unnecessary roughness penalty on a Georgia defensive back after he destroyed a Cowboy wide receiver who was trying to catch a pass. When he was hit, the receiver still had a hand on the ball. Violent hit? Yes. A penalty? Only at the YMCA.
As the Sean McDonough, the announcer, said, “If you’re going to throw a flag for every hit that looks bad, you might as well play flag football.” Well said, sir. Of course, if Joe Cox weren’t absolutely horrible, it wouldn’t have mattered.
Mississippi State 45, Jackson State 7
According to a friend who was there, “Jackson State is the worst football team I’ve ever seen.” For the purpose of fantastic comedy, I would have loved to see how Sylvester Croom would have fared in this one. State still would have won, but it would have been along the lines of 24-7 and disgustingly ugly.
And my apologies to Dan Mullen (as if he cares) for besmirching him based on the idea that Anthony Dixon would play. I will also refrain from writing the backhanded compliment I had ready to go. But know that I did have one.
Arkansas 48, Missouri State 10
HOUSTON NUTT WOULD NEVER HAVE SCORED 48 ON MISSOURI STATE!!!
Auburn 37, Louisiana Tech 13
Chizik is now four wins away from double digits in career victories after 25 games as a head coach.
Florida 62, Charleston Southern 3
If you’re curious, the Charleston Southern nickname is the Buccaneers. So file that one away.
Vanderbilt 45, Western Carolina 0
Two of the country’s worst offenses last year, Mississippi State and Vanderbilt, combine to score 90 points. By comparison, it took Vandy two games last season to reach the 45-point mark, and through its first four games of 2008, Mississippi State had a total of 57 points scored.
Alabama 34, Virginia Tech 24
Hey, guess what? Tyrod Taylor is awful, just like every Virginia Tech quarterback since Michael Vick. Who saw that coming? The Hokies are another team that should never be ranked in the top ten before the season ever again. If Alabama had a stronger quarterback and decent special teams play, they win this game by at least 21. And when Virginia Tech is winning the Orange Bowl in January, just be sure to remember they stink.
As for the debut of Greg McElroy, color me unimpressed. Granted, he was going against a solid defense and was still able to help crank out almost 500 yards of total offense, but I never saw anything that made me think he’s going to be much better than he is right now. He’ll improve, but not by much. And I think we’ll also see Alabama be little more risky or aggressive on offense thanks to complete confidence in a really good defense. A defense like theirs will help control whatever mistakes are made on offense.
LSU 31, Washington 23
Speaking of unimpressed, here’s LSU. The defense that was supposed to be totally revamped now that all of that talent was being properly coached gave up 478 yards of offense to a team that was 0-12 last year. Jordan Jefferson? Blah. Maybe it was the trip to the West Coast, but LSU doesn’t look the part of a team that could make a run at Atlanta.
Ole Miss 45, Memphis 14
The day I am remotely upset with a 45-14 win, please shoot me in the face (and don’t miss). Yeah, it was a little frustrating watching Jevan Snead crap the bed for a little over three quarters, but I never got the sense we were in danger of losing the game. The defense picked up where it left off last year, really shutting down the Memphis offense. Other than the fourth quarter touchdown drive and the drive where Memphis missed a field goal, they really had no consistency. The defensive line got stronger as the game went on, especially Jerrell Powe, and the secondary has made a transformation to a group of guys I don’t even recognize. Shit talking, aggressive AND they put points on the board with Fon Ingram’s interception return for a touchdown. The last time we saw something like this was in the Billy Brewer era.
Other than Snead’s early struggles, it’s hard to really criticize much. The play calling was extremely basic so there’s not much to pick apart on offense. I thought the offense line played well at times, not so much at others, but for the first game, I’ll take it. Snead was not murdered by a vicious hit so that’s a victory in my book. I think we’ll see much more two weeks from now when they travel to Columbia.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
SEC Picks of the Week
For the first time in three weeks a spectacular video of Europe is not starting out a post in this spot, which depending on your affection or lack thereof of the band, can be a good or bad thing. I will miss my daily search for yet another video of the song that makes no sense. There’s nothing like a countdown in which it’s never mentioned what we’re about to reach. Easily one of the most confusing songs of all-time. But awesome.
So now that college football season is upon us, it’s time for me to break out my favorite post to write, my weekly SEC picks. You may hate them (possibly the picks themselves and reading someone pick games), but know that I thoroughly enjoy doing this. Probably a little too much. Anyway, if you’ve never read this before, I go through all the SEC games for the week, make a few comments that rank from absurd to blindly ignorant to spiteful and hopefully select the winner. These picks are made free from any sort of point spread because the NCAA tells me gambling is borderline illegal even though they require schools to publish weekly injury reports. Plus, any thoughts I have involving point spread winners will be kept to myself for my financial benefit and not yours.
Last season, I slapped together a 64-19 record (.771) and was headed for an .800 season until a last week debacle sent me under .800. So my goal this season is to crack the .800-mark, which can be done if I break my habit of choking at the worst time possible.
South Carolina at North Carolina State
Last season, this game opened college football and we saw the Gamecocks destroy NC State 34-0. This season, I don’t see it being that bad, but as far as I know (and I know nothing about NC State) the Wolfpack aren’t going to be much better and South Carolina could be slightly better or slightly worse. In short, I have no idea. And yes, you can expect this detailed analysis all season long. I’m taking South Carolina here.
Kentucky at Miami (OH)
As I mentioned yesterday, Kentucky could be a sneaky team in the SEC this year. Not that they’re going to dominate, but it’s entirely possible that in the last week of November you’ll look at the SEC standings and say, “Wait, Kentucky has eight wins?” They have three for sure loses Florida, Alabama and Georgia, but every other game is completely winnable. I’m very interested in this Kentucky team. It’s entirely possible Miami could be one of those 10-2 MAC teams (how would I know, I don’t do research), but I’ll take Kentucky.
Directional School at Tennessee
I struggle to put into words how excited I am about the rise (which has already happened) and eventual fall of the Lane Kiffin/Ed Orgeron regime. As I’ve written before, my money is on midway through the 2010 season. Good times are indeed ahead. Vols win.
Jackson State at Mississippi State
Anthony Dixon is suspended for a game. He’s suspended for a half. He might actually play. He’s going to start. Dan Mullen certainly comes from the Urban Meyer school of discipline. Also, he doesn’t want to get fired. State avoids a Maine disaster.
Georgia at Oklahoma State
Big 12 school with an all-world offense getting lots of hype going against an SEC school that is underrated and has a defense that’s much better than anyone Oklahoma State has seen. Does this sound familiar? Something to do with the Cotton Bowl. And I remember Florida playing in some other game in which they defeated a Big 12 team. I’m sure it was nothing. Georgia it is.
Missouri State at Arkansas
Hopefully, Arkansas can avoid a UL-Monroe near-disaster.
Louisiana Tech at Auburn
One person Gene Chizik will not be calling for some thoughts on Louisiana Tech is Sylvester Croom. Auburn’s win will account for one-sixth of Chizik’s career wins.
Charleston Southern at Florida
Blah.
Western Carolina at Vanderbilt
Anything is possible with Vanderbilt when they’re favored in games. It’s the underdog role that allows them to play well. I say Vandy avoids a devastating loss by a narrow margin.
Alabama vs. Virginia Tech
Much like Clemson was last year, Virginia Tech is an ACC team that gets way too much hype for not being that good. They’ve made their national reputation on beating other ACC teams and losing to any team that’s even remotely good. Their offense stinks, they have no quarterback and they’ve lost their top running back. In the past five seasons when Virginia Tech stepped outside of the ACC and played teams in BCS conferences, they’ve piled up a 6-6 record with two of those wins coming over mighty Cincinnati.
Oh, they’ll go 10-2 or 9-3 because they are the best of the mediocre in the ACC, but look for them to get crushed against Alabama. The speed of Alabama’s defense is something they last saw when LSU dismantled them 48-7 in 2007. This won’t end well for the Hokies.
LSU at Washington
Oh, to be able to see those from Louisiana colliding with the good folks of the Pacific Northwest. What a show that will be. What won’t be a show is this game. LSU dominates.
Ole Miss at Memphis
Normally, I’m terrified of this game, but a strange calm has come over me the past few weeks. I realized Memphis really isn’t very good and that they’re not used to playing against the speed they’ll see on defense and offense on Sunday, and barring multiple turnovers on Ole Miss’ part, this one won’t be close. Well, that and I remembered a clueless Ed Orgeron defeating Memphis three straight years. The only thing that would make Sunday better than a crushing Ole Miss victory is a crushing Ole Miss victory followed by the dismissal of the hack that is Tommy West.
So now that college football season is upon us, it’s time for me to break out my favorite post to write, my weekly SEC picks. You may hate them (possibly the picks themselves and reading someone pick games), but know that I thoroughly enjoy doing this. Probably a little too much. Anyway, if you’ve never read this before, I go through all the SEC games for the week, make a few comments that rank from absurd to blindly ignorant to spiteful and hopefully select the winner. These picks are made free from any sort of point spread because the NCAA tells me gambling is borderline illegal even though they require schools to publish weekly injury reports. Plus, any thoughts I have involving point spread winners will be kept to myself for my financial benefit and not yours.
Last season, I slapped together a 64-19 record (.771) and was headed for an .800 season until a last week debacle sent me under .800. So my goal this season is to crack the .800-mark, which can be done if I break my habit of choking at the worst time possible.
South Carolina at North Carolina State
Last season, this game opened college football and we saw the Gamecocks destroy NC State 34-0. This season, I don’t see it being that bad, but as far as I know (and I know nothing about NC State) the Wolfpack aren’t going to be much better and South Carolina could be slightly better or slightly worse. In short, I have no idea. And yes, you can expect this detailed analysis all season long. I’m taking South Carolina here.
Kentucky at Miami (OH)
As I mentioned yesterday, Kentucky could be a sneaky team in the SEC this year. Not that they’re going to dominate, but it’s entirely possible that in the last week of November you’ll look at the SEC standings and say, “Wait, Kentucky has eight wins?” They have three for sure loses Florida, Alabama and Georgia, but every other game is completely winnable. I’m very interested in this Kentucky team. It’s entirely possible Miami could be one of those 10-2 MAC teams (how would I know, I don’t do research), but I’ll take Kentucky.
Directional School at Tennessee
I struggle to put into words how excited I am about the rise (which has already happened) and eventual fall of the Lane Kiffin/Ed Orgeron regime. As I’ve written before, my money is on midway through the 2010 season. Good times are indeed ahead. Vols win.
Jackson State at Mississippi State
Anthony Dixon is suspended for a game. He’s suspended for a half. He might actually play. He’s going to start. Dan Mullen certainly comes from the Urban Meyer school of discipline. Also, he doesn’t want to get fired. State avoids a Maine disaster.
Georgia at Oklahoma State
Big 12 school with an all-world offense getting lots of hype going against an SEC school that is underrated and has a defense that’s much better than anyone Oklahoma State has seen. Does this sound familiar? Something to do with the Cotton Bowl. And I remember Florida playing in some other game in which they defeated a Big 12 team. I’m sure it was nothing. Georgia it is.
Missouri State at Arkansas
Hopefully, Arkansas can avoid a UL-Monroe near-disaster.
Louisiana Tech at Auburn
One person Gene Chizik will not be calling for some thoughts on Louisiana Tech is Sylvester Croom. Auburn’s win will account for one-sixth of Chizik’s career wins.
Charleston Southern at Florida
Blah.
Western Carolina at Vanderbilt
Anything is possible with Vanderbilt when they’re favored in games. It’s the underdog role that allows them to play well. I say Vandy avoids a devastating loss by a narrow margin.
Alabama vs. Virginia Tech
Much like Clemson was last year, Virginia Tech is an ACC team that gets way too much hype for not being that good. They’ve made their national reputation on beating other ACC teams and losing to any team that’s even remotely good. Their offense stinks, they have no quarterback and they’ve lost their top running back. In the past five seasons when Virginia Tech stepped outside of the ACC and played teams in BCS conferences, they’ve piled up a 6-6 record with two of those wins coming over mighty Cincinnati.
Oh, they’ll go 10-2 or 9-3 because they are the best of the mediocre in the ACC, but look for them to get crushed against Alabama. The speed of Alabama’s defense is something they last saw when LSU dismantled them 48-7 in 2007. This won’t end well for the Hokies.
LSU at Washington
Oh, to be able to see those from Louisiana colliding with the good folks of the Pacific Northwest. What a show that will be. What won’t be a show is this game. LSU dominates.
Ole Miss at Memphis
Normally, I’m terrified of this game, but a strange calm has come over me the past few weeks. I realized Memphis really isn’t very good and that they’re not used to playing against the speed they’ll see on defense and offense on Sunday, and barring multiple turnovers on Ole Miss’ part, this one won’t be close. Well, that and I remembered a clueless Ed Orgeron defeating Memphis three straight years. The only thing that would make Sunday better than a crushing Ole Miss victory is a crushing Ole Miss victory followed by the dismissal of the hack that is Tommy West.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
The Final Countdown: 1
We finally made it to the end of this damn countdown. We’re one day away from college football season, which coincides with beginning of sloth, gorging and a high degree of emotional stress. And I, for one, can’t wait. So representing the last number of our countdown, I give you my SEC predictions and the one team that will leave Atlanta victorious.
These predictions are full of generalities, a small dose of research and a following of SEC football with the intensity of one of those stalkers about which states eventually make laws to protect their targets. If I confuse any numbers, names or other general information, it’s simply because my mind is about to explode. And partly because I don’t care about any other team but Ole Miss. My apologies to your team. And yes, this site is free.
EAST
1. Florida
According to everything I’ve read, Florida will sort of be like Ivan Drago, everything they hit, they will destroy. And I tend to agree. Everyone on defense is back and it’s a defense that after the loss to Ole Miss (maybe you heard about it) gave up an average of 13.1 points a game. That went along with an offense that averaged something like 117 points a game the rest of the way. I think this defense will probably challenge Alabama for the best in the conference.
On offense, there’s some guy named Tebow who’s allegedly pretty good. Not sure about that. The question marks on offense are can they effectively replace three offensive linemen, including the right tackle (protecting Tebow’s blind side) and Percy Harvin. I’m not so much concerned with the loss of Harvin as the Gators have like 27 more fast and talented guys waiting to play, but the offensive line could make them a degree below bulletproof. Their visit to Baton Rouge could be the end of a perfect season, especially if they struggle to find competent line replacements.
2. Georgia
The Bulldogs have about as favorable a schedule as you can have in the SEC. They get LSU and South Carolina at home (and of course have to play Florida), and their only dangerous road game could be at Arkansas before they figure out what they can and can’t do on offense. Joe Cox is allegedly a member of a plethora of game manager quarterbacks that are in college football, so in order to avoid any upsets, he’ll need to not screw things up. There’s young talent on offense and the offensive line should be pretty solid so anything above average from Cox and Georgia could be a pretty tough team.
Defensively, they should be strong, but then again, if you recruit like Richt has, they should have some players there. To me, this season is a defining season for him. If he pulls out a nine or 10 win season with this bunch, I’ll reconsider my 2200 words that declared him the most mediocre coach in the SEC.
3. South Carolina
Any chance the Gamecocks have at finishing behind Florida is ruined by their schedule. At Georgia, at Alabama, At Tennessee, and Florida and Ole Miss in Columbia. 1-4 there would be pretty good considering what Steve Spurrier has. A talented, but erratic and often dumb quarterback playing behind an offensive line that was awful last year and might not be much better this year. If South Carolina can’t run the ball with any success, this could be a long year in Columbia. If I had any faith in Kentucky or Tennessee, I’d put one of them here.
As for defense, all signs point to it being a little worse than last year’s, which wasn’t bad, but not great. If the defense can’t get any help from the offense, I will again question why I continue to put South Carolina this high every year.
4. Tennessee
Biggest problems: At Florida, at Alabama, at Ole Miss, Georgia at home, no quarterback, Ed Orgeron, Lane Kiffin, very thin offensive line, not much on the defensive line.
Biggest strengths: Everyone but Florida in the East is beatable and outside of the defensive line, the rest of the defense should be solid.
I really don’t see the Vols being much better than last year, and I wouldn’t expect more than 5-7.
5. Kentucky
If the Wildcats develop some consistent offense, they might prove to be a little feisty. And by that, I mean challenge Tennessee for fourth in the East. If you have to play Florida and Alabama, you want them at home and Kentucky does. I don’t think this will influence the win/loss column, but from a point-spread standpoint it might.
Defensively, Kentucky will be weak on the line, but fairly strong behind that. If they can hold up against the run, the defense could propel itself into the average category and, combined with a more experienced offense, they could pull off a couple of wins they shouldn’t.
6. Vanderbilt
In order to ramp up an offense that was one of the worst in college football, Bobby Johnson has installed a no-huddle, spread attack. That’s nice if you have a quarterback, which, as far as I know, is not on the Vanderbilt campus. The defense returns nine starters and should be the rock of the team, like every Vandy team since 1912. Don’t be surprised if Vandy leads the SEC in 11:30 kickoffs this season.
WEST
1. Ole Miss
That’s just terrifying to see that. Truly terrifying. Before you start accusing me of blind loyalty, allow me to make my case. First, the schedule. Alabama, LSU, Arkansas and Tennessee all come to Oxford. The toughest road games are a Thursday night trip to South Carolina and a trip to Auburn. No other team in the West has a schedule that favorable. Second, an established, experienced, talented quarterback. No other team in the West has that. Third, defensive line. No other team in the West can match the talent there. Alabama could make a case, but they don’t have the depth Ole Miss does. Fourth, experience at every defensive position. Alabama is the only other team that can say that.
As for the weaknesses, offensive line depth. Even Houston Nutt has admitted that this team is a couple of sprained ankles away from being mediocre. As I have stated many times, if Ole Miss develops eight competent offensive linemen, they should beat every team they play in the regular season. Second weakness, cornerback. Yes, Marshay Green certainly came on at the end of last season, but everyone else is average to slightly above average. Can anyone really trust Cassius Vaughan? But the cornerback position is based heavily on confidence and if this group plays well early, they could become a strength.
As for the argument that Ole Miss has never been here before, that’s not really a strong argument to me. If you recall the end of last season, this team developed a sense of confidence I’ve never seen in an Ole Miss team. They knew if they didn’t have dumb turnovers, they were going to win. So they know what it takes to win. Yes, more teams will be geared up for them, but again, they know what they have to do to beat teams they’re better than.
2. Alabama
If not for going to LSU and Ole Miss, I think Alabama might have taken the number one spot here. They’re defense should be one of the strongest in the conference, although I’m interested to see who takes over leadership after Rashad Johnson’s departure, and of course they’re going to be extremely well-coached. My biggest problem with them is at quarterback and offensive line.
Recently, I heard Eli Gold, Alabama’s radio play-by-play announcer, say that Greg McElroy is a game manager type (buzzword!) that probably isn’t as talented as John Parker Wilson was. If I’m an Alabama fan, that’s a big, fat gulp right there. An inexperienced, lesser-talented version of Wilson behind an offensive line that won’t be as good as last year’s. That group has to replace three guys, the most underrated of which was center Antoine Caldwell. Losing three members off the strength of your team is going to hurt in some way the following year. I think the Tide is a year away from being a legitimate top five team.
3. LSU
At Ole Miss, at Alabama, at Georgia and Florida at home. A 2-2 finish there would be impressive and I think that will be a stretch for this team. As I’ve said before, Jordan Jefferson may be talented (I haven’t seen it), but he’s not good enough to win the West. Les Miles won’t play conservative offense with him and Jefferson will make tons of mistakes (remember Jarrett Lee last year). He’s got talented running backs and receivers, but I don’t think he’s ready to be an SEC quarterback. If he improves, LSU could be pretty tough at the end of the season.
As for defense, John Chavis takes over a talented group. Or so I’ve heard. In the last six games of the regular season, LSU surrendered almost 22 points a game. Granted, many of those could have been off Jarrett Lee interceptions returned for touchdowns, but the defense wasn’t very good. Unless Les Miles pulls a Nick Saban and goes super conservative on offense, LSU won’t be in Atlanta.
4. Arkansas
Holy crap, what a schedule. At Alabama, at Florida, at Ole Miss, at LSU and Georgia at home. 1-4 would be outstanding here. If they can get anything out of their defense, which was the worst or one of the worst in the SEC last year, they might sneak up on some people. That is if Ryan Mallett proves to be worth anything.
He’ll need some major help on his offensive line since he’s not been blessed with any foot speed. One would think he’ll bring more to the table than one of the Dick brothers, and if he does, Arkansas could be an interesting team, especially as Mallett gains experience. If he sucks, forget about everything I’ve said. Their battle with State for fifth and sixth will be fun to watch.
5. Auburn
Gus Malzahn’s offense was brought in to breathe some life into a disastrous offense from last year. Unfortunately, Chris Todd is operating that offense. Defensively, they should be much better than people think, but with a schedule that looks like this, at LSU, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee and Arkansas, it won’t really matter. Oh, that and Gene Chizik is still in charge.
6. Mississippi State
An excellent group of teams comes to Starkville this year, unfortunately they’re all really good teams. LSU, Georgia Tech, Florida, Alabama and Ole Miss all come to Starkville, and barring anything crazy, all will win. Dan Mullen will have a tough year ahead of him, he’s got no quarterback, a bad offensive line and a defense that will probably be worse than least year’s. At worst, I can see a 2-10 season, and at best they can somehow claw their way to 5-7.
SEC Championship Game
Florida over Ole Miss
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
The Final Countdown: 2
And then there were two. 12 teams will compete for two spots in the SEC Championship Game, one will represent the West, the other the East. In true teaser fashion, you'll have to come back tomorrow to find out which teams I expect to see in Atlanta. My predictions promise to be full of scientific research, effort, stats, numbers and well-crafted sentences, while free of any biases or blind loyalties. Or maybe not. Find out tomorrow.
Until then, I leave you with some less-than-successful duos of the SEC...
Ed Orgeron and Ethan Flatt
Ed Orgeron and Michael Spurlock
Ed Orgeron and Robert Lane
Ed Orgeron and Seth Adams
Ed Orgeron and Brent Schaeffer
Ed Orgeron and Noel Mazzone
Ed Orgeron and Dan Werner
Ed Orgeron and Patrick Willis
Ed Orgeron and McKinley Boykin
Ed Orgeron and Garry Pack
Ed Orgeron and Robert Russell
Ed Orgeron and Hayward Howard
Ed Orgeron and LaMark Armour
Ed Orgeron and LeRon King
Ed Orgeron and Quentin Taylor
Ed Orgeron and Michael Herrick
Ed Orgeron and Jerrell Powe
Ed Orgeron and winning
Ed Orgeron and enunciation
Ed Orgeron and his neighbors
Ed Orgeron and offense
Ed Orgeron and defense
Ed Orgeron and kickers
Ed Orgeron and coaching
Ed Orgeron and football
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