Things More Stable Than The Big 12

Tuesday, the athletic directors of remaining nine Big 12 schools met to have Texas and Oklahoma reassure them that they had no plans to set fire to the building or steal anymore of their money.  Then, after taking up a collection for the Longhorns and Sooners as a goodwill thank you offering ($273!), they all told the media they were committed to the idea of stability and preservation of the Big 12.

Just how many or few teams will compose the Big 12 as it moves forward?  No one, not even Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard, knows:

"There's a lot of possibilities. It could be nine, it could be 10, it could be 12, it could be 16, pick a number," Pollard said.

Okay, sure.  79.  -24.  π.   Zero.  Infinity.  ABSOLUTE ZERO.  They're all in play.  However, what's somewhat worrisome for the future of the Big 12 is that the first person quoted is the athletic director from IOWA STATE.  When reassurances and commitments to fixing problems need to be made, most companies don't turn to the guy running the mailroom to publicly deliver that message.  He may know his role quite well and do a good job, but his authority extends only to the degree in which it is given to him by those actually in charge of the show.

So if the mailroom guy is fielding questions, one can only assume the rest of the interoffice structure no longer functions and it's only a matter of time until a game of survival of the fittest breaks out.  And what makes that so exciting is that the game could be triggered by just about anything.  Not holding a door open, a dumb forwarded email, a refusal to validate parking.  PICK A CAUSE.

With all of that raging instability, and in order to show you just how unstable everything is, let's look at other things that are currently more stable than the Big 12.


Les Miles


Refrigerator-moving business in the Florida Panhandle


Somalia


Housing market in southern Arkansas


Gus Johnson during the NCAA Tournament


Gus Johnson calling a Hail Mary


Boat/Sandbar parties


Nick Saban after a 3rd and 14 is converted against his defense


Your stomach after four plates of meat and no salad bar at Fogo de Chao


The mind of W. Axl Rose

/prays the US tour is still going on by the time it gets near me


Mama grizzly bear after she determines her cubs have been bothered


Pete Boone and Houston Nutt's job security